Hmm...sort of gives you an idea of my mood today.  Anyway, I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth.  I've been doing most of my updates in Cab's Creations because for one thing I'm just way too lazy to keep up with two journals.  I sort of felt bad, though, because I keep getting some comments in this one.  Despite the tag, I'm actually ok.  I'm in a "pissed in the wind" type of mood (pardon my French).  Can't put a finger on it.  Not depressed, but not jumping for joy.  The weather is bleak, chilly, rainy.  My shoulder acts like a barometer so right now it feels like a toothache.  I do have vacation days to use which I should schedule first but dang I had the worst hair day today and looked like a freakazoid so voila I took the day off; not too cool of me.  I believe I need one of those sun machines for SAD; more so as I age.  BTW:  I had a birthday Friday.  I'm now 54.  LOL...ok...Jackie, I'll change the age in my sidebar now that I've caught up to you.  Thanks for the e-cards and snail mail cards. 

Ok....now for true confessions which my son has been bugging me about for months.  I'll accept all opinions, negative or not.  You know we both stopped smoking in the spring.  My son has been totally smoke free since then.  I cheat on occasion.  By cheating, it's a few puffs off of my BF's cigarettes but only when we are out and I've had a few drinks.  So, no, I'm not "smoke-free" but probably have the equivalent of maybe a cigarette or two a month if you add up the puffs.  I've been working on it and managed to go out twice this past month and not cave in.  On my birthday, I did take a few puffs.  I do not and have not smoked one bit except for those few occasions.  Ok, so that's a good excuse  that I'm making for myself and know I will need to muster thestrength or quit going out for a few drinks.  My BF doesn't drink when we are out so he's the DD.  I still enjoy a couple of stout beers; just the last trigger for smoking remaining.  Dec. 12 is decision day in  our area for making all bars and restaurants smoke-free here so I'm keeping myfingers crossed.

Next rant is that I've gained 10 more pounds...ugh...10 when I started my new job over a year ago and 10 since I was sick in September.  Now, I have a whopping 20 to lose.  Should be a piece of cake but it isn't.  Thank God, I'm 5'8" coz it would show a lot more but I can't stand my moon face now.  Joey's gained weight and looks good because he was super skinny before.

Since I'm on a roll, Megan is going to San Diego at the end of the week to visit a friend.  She'll be back in time for Thanksgiving.  She called at dinner time last night insisting that I go to Target immediately and get the brown boots she was looking at last weekend.  She had been at two Targets already.  They didn't have her size.  Boo hoo....I didn't have any idea which boots she had tried on, and I had a pot of soup on the stove and burgers on the grill in the pouring rain.  I had just got back from a marathon grocery shopping trip.  Needless to say, she may be 21 but she still has an attitude at times.  I held my guns, so to speak.  I felt bad, of course, which Joey said she was trying to make me feel so I'd cave in but didn't.  I'm sure she'll live if she goes to Cali. on Thurs without brown boots.  She hung the phone up on me which I can't stand.  I called her back and let her have it because she knows I hate that. 

If you are still with me, I'll give a Grizzly update.  Poor Griz's liver count had doubled since March because both Rimadyl and Phenobarb can cause liver changes.  I increased his MSM and glucosamine that I get OTC at the health food store and started cutting way back on the Rimadyl.  Actually, I had cut him back in the summer because he wasn't as arthritic.  I cut him way back again.  He seems to be moving well.  He went back for a follow-up.  His liver counts are back to where they were in March.  I figure when it's freeziing out and the snow is deep, his joints will be back.  Then I'll give him more.

So, that's the story of my life in a nutshell for now.  Keep Donna and family in your prayers, as they have lost a sister, daughter, spouse, mother, etc.  Keep all those who are battling life threatening diseases in your thoughts and prayers also.

I'm thankful that today is not Thankful Thurs.  Have a good week.  I have a few tags I may put up.  My creative juices sort of dried up also.

BIG HUGS  Chris

 

 

QUESTIONS

           

As some of you know, this question thing is going around JLand.  I saw it in Jackie HOPE FLOATS journal and, of course, raised my hand to be interviewed sooooo here goes:

1.  If at birth you could have selected the profession your children would eventually pursue, would you have done so?

 

Most definitely NOT!  No, not ever.  I know we never say never but I wouldn't even presume to choose or select anything for my children in advance.  All three of my children are their own individuals and very different in their likes and dislikes.  I couldn't even have begun to discern their personalities at birth.  I'm thinking the reason I am so adamant on this is because my mother was rather domineering and controlling and was more than disappointed that she couldn't turn me into a carbon copy of herself. 

 

In order to achieve happiness and contentment, I do believe we need to permit our children to make their own decisions, to a certain extent, and learn from their mistakes.

 

2.   Do you wish on stars?

 

LOL....of course, I do.  I'm very "fanciful".  I'm a dreamer, always lost in thought.  Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight.....  Does wishing on stars make it so?  It's a nice thought.

 

3.  If you could go back in time, what time period would you select, and why?

 

I would select the time around the Civil War.  I haven't thought about this in years but in my younger, dreaming days, I used to think I would have loved to have lived in that time period.  Don't know why but maybe it was reading "Gone with the Wind" and imagining myself being Scarlett O'Hara  Ok, pre Civil War time, and I would be super rich and pampered.  Probably would have lived in Savannah or Charleston.  The slavery bothers me though so my second choice would have been living in England around the time the Bronte sisters penned Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre.  Yep, I'm a hopeless romantic because I would have had to have a Heathcliff and Mr. Rochester.

 

4.  Name one toy you owned as a child that meant a lot to you?

 

Yikes, this has to be the hardest one.  I can barely remember my toys.  I think my favorite would have had to be my Tiny Tears doll.  I was probably 3 when I got her.  My mom and aunt sewed all kinds of clothes for it.  Besides my Barbie (yep I had one Barbie), my Tiny Tears doll is about the only toy I have left that my mother didn't get rid of.

 

              

 

5.  Burial or cremation...and why?

 

Burial, definitely.  Why?  I just get creeped out by cremation even though I'll be dead and wouldn't know it was being done.  I rather go to dust naturally.  My son thinks there some Christian religious thing about not being cremated.  I'm not so sure about that.  I just don't like the thought of it although it's cheaper and space is getting limited for burying.

 

Now it is your turn. If you would like to be grilled by moi then:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your journal with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

 

And one more thing, dear Penny Penny`s Pieces of Ohio is in Cleveland Clinic this weekend getting some testing done for some problems she has been having lately.  Please stop by and offer her some prayers, support, good wishes, etc.  Love you, Penny!

HUGS

              

The Lifted Load

Thanks to Sugar for the above.  Sugar Shack Keepsakes  Fear has kept me paralyzed for well over a week.  I had intended to update last weekend but just could not do it.  The things that cause me the worst fear are those that deal with my children.

Joey is being carried on my Blue Cross/Blue Shield because of his depression.  He was on a temporary two year extension that is up for review this year.  I had sent in the doctor's information, etc. a few months ago, and the wait started.  I live in absolute fear that he will have no medical coverage.  I simply have no idea what we would do.  Now that he has asthma, his meds would be well over $1,000 a month.  It really angers me, not just because it has hit home personally, but generally that a country this size would have so many people with no health coverage or substandard health coverage.  I checked into medical assistance through welfare.  Joey made $6,900 last year.  The income limit is $415 a month...puhlease.

I got a  termination letter from Blue Cross the end of last week...9-5-07 was the last date for coverage.  My heart died a thousand deaths.  I called Monday praying that they just hadn't heard anything from my agency as each govt agency has their own physicians make the determination.  This was the case but still I had heard nothing from HR yet.

Of course, our HR is now at another office out of state.  It's been centralized.  No one was answering my e-mails or phone calls.  I swear I was literally stopped dead in my tracks all week bouncing between panic and numbness.  Poor Joe was nervous.  Who wouldn't be?

Anyway, we do have HR specialists at our office.  In fact a newer guy was just promoted.  I called and asked if he would check into this with our other office.  He did, and I had my answer within the hour....Joey's been extended on my coverage....huge sigh and a happy dance.  I'm not for sure how long but at least we have time to figure something out because this won't last forever.  I'll get the official letter soon. 

I felt like the most enormous load had been lifted.  I can't even begin to explain.  Life just went from black and gray back to color again.  Everything else I had fussed about just seemed so trivial compared to this.

So, Megan moved back to Pittsburgh last weekend.  She has a very nice place about three blocks from her other place.  She is still working and will do so 20 hrs a week during school.  I'm hopin she can keep up with the schedule.  She is home this weekend to say goodbye to the rest of her friends who are off to college.  We went to Red Lobster tonight.  Oy....love that place.  I had Fire grilled lobster and shrimp.  I splurged for once.

Oops...back to Joe.  He has a new OVR (pa. voc rehab counselor).  I went with him Friday afternoon.  I am very impressed with this girl.  The other lady he had for the past five years was a total waste, putting it nicely so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  He has some interest tests to do and is meeting with her again next week.

The air conditioner is fine, so they say.  It was only dragging in the mid afternoon, I had noticed.  The sr. tech checked it.  I've seen him quite a few times.  Nice guy, really.  The problem was the electric during the peak times was sagging somewhat.  My unit is enormous so it couldn't always get the electrical kick.  He said everything is fine so we'll see.

Hugs and love to all of you!  I'm slowly making my way around.  BTW:  a little bird told me Carlene HORSESHOE BEND/Carlene has a birthday tomorrow.  Carlene is such a sweetie.  I know she'd love to get some greetings.

 

              

         

Greetings

             
                           What type of Fae are you?

 

I got the above from Lisa Jo, who got it from Guido.  Of course, it piqued my interest.  So I'm a nymph?  Hmm...and a bit naked at that...hehe

So, I'm reading it, and, yep, oddly it sort of applies to me this past summer.  Lonely, lost but hopeful.  It's been a tough one but I hate to complain because so many others are experiencing so much worse.

Last week I saw my orthopod and had an MRI done.  No tears, which is good but my shoulder is encapsulated or "frozen" which is not great.   I'm not sure how it got that way as I've tried to keep it moving.  PT was ordered but I'm hedging on it because the first round of PT a few years ago actually aggravated my shoulder.  So, last week, I was off Monday and Tues because after all the range of motion stuff, my shoulder killing me Tues.  Wed, half a day and an injection, which has not provided a whole lot of relief...ugh.  I'll get used to it.  Friday, after work, I got off the bus.  My new car would not crank over.  I figured it was the battery but was furious.  I've only put 4,000 miles on that car since November.  I called AAA.  Yep, it was the battery.  They jumped it, and I went to Advanced Auto and had a new titianium one put in.  $80 not in my buget.  Crap, did I want a cigarette but resisted.  What in the world would I do with some "real" stress?

I got all my work caught up this Mon-Wed and decided to take Thurs and Fri off to float in my pool and clear my mind or at least try to find what little mind I have left.

Of course, I got home last night prepared to relax for the next few days.  Not to be.  Some of you may remember my air conditioner woes from last summer.  I've had this 18,000 BTU beast in my wall from Sears for five years now.  It cools the whole downstairs but I've had problems with it from the second summer that I had it.  Last year, I waited all summer for the compressor to be replaced.  Well, guess what, the same dragging sound is starting again with the new super duper compressor that was installed last August.  The technicians are coming on Sat.  The Sr. technician is supposed to discuss compensation toward a new unit.  Hmmm.....I'm thinking the new unit should be installed for nothing considering all the problems I've had in the past 5 years.  I've had $1,200 worth of work done on a $500 unit that Sears has paid for because of the warranty.  I told the guy I'm saving them money if they would just install a new unit.....we'll see.  I feel a fight coming on.

I'm hoping to finally catch up again on my journal reading and to get into my graphics journal.  My shoulder has been pretty good the last two days....knock on wood.  I was having problems just signing my name for the past week so basically, that is why I haven't been around.

Love to all!!!!!!!

 

LOL...sort of funny, hunh?  Me...checkin in.  My last entry in my lonely little personal journal was Memorial Day?  Yikes!  Actually, that was my last day of smoking.  I began my journey into the smokeless world the next day; and, yes, I am still smoke-free and pushing 8 weeks on Tues.  The past couple of days have been filled with cravings but nothing that I can't deal with.  The moods are starting to level a bit. (Thanks for the above tag, Lisa Jo!)

Where have I been?  Sometimes in my graphics journal but definitely not much in my PSP.  I do have a dozen or so tags to send that have been there for a week now.  Ugh....I'm sharing my pc with Megan since she has no space to set up her computer or internet connection so my computer is being shared by the three of us.  By the time it's my turn, I'm asleep on the couch.

My rotator cuff has been acting up horrendously for the past month.  Of course, it's my right arm.  It's really been limiting my computer time.  My pc at work is set up to support my right arm.  I'll have to work on this one at home.  Anyway, I'm off on Monday to see my orthopedic specialist.  It was work related but it's been six years since I've had problems.  I got tired of dancing to the tune of the DOL so I called BC/BS.  They ever so kindly removed the red flag on my shoulder since it's been so long since it was treated.  I'm hoping for a couple of shots in the shoulder on Monday.  That did the trick 6 years ago.  I can pick my own doctors so I ended up with the best upper extremity specialist in Pgh somehow.

I took Joey to my group of orthopods for a second opinion on his knee.  He got a new set of passive PT for a month.  If that doesn't help, then he will get an MRI.  He needs to find a new physical therapist because this one doesn't want to cooperate with the new script.

I had Megan at the ER last Sunday.  She had a bug bite that resembled a deertick bite.  It wasn't.  The doctor hadinterned in dermatology and was "mum" on what he thought it was.  Not serious but if it doesn't go away, a dermatolgist visit for her.  Of course, I had an idea...it looks like a form of psoriasis.  So, that's Dr. Chris' diagnosis but we have to add another doctor's visit.

Her job is going well.  She looks like she walked right out of Vogue or some similar fashion magazine at the bus each morning which makes me look sort of "hoboesque" (a Joey description). 

We've had monsoon rain all week; not that we didn't need it.  Weird summer....some heat but not much.  I sort of like the tropical summers.  We didn't use the pool this past weekend but two weekends ago, we did.  It was in the high 70's, and the solar cover is not warming the pool up much this year.  I did manage to snap a couple of pictures and noticed it was July 8th when we were in the pool.  Taking a picture of my son is a chore.  Sneaky and quick, which takes a while. 

 

        

 

             

 

           

                  

              

So, that's about it.  I'm getting my hair cut this morning, thank heavens, and may get out tonight again.  I have some tags to send out and many,many journals to catch up with.  Love you all!  (Anybody know why my entry has gone out of the margins?  It's not the graphic size, and I've emptied my sidebar.  grrrr  SOS) 

 

                                                                        

 

                

 

 

Happy Memorial Day

                

Happy Memorial Day!  I hope all have taken time to reflect upon the meaning of this day and to honor those who have lost their lives while continuing to protect our freedom.  Let's not forget all our veterans and those still in the Armed Forces.

We had our cook out yesterday thanks to Megan who grilled chicken wrapped with bacon, asparagus and cherry tomatoes.  That was lunch.  She brought me home a super huge burger from Red Robin later in the evening which I devoured.  Time to get back on track with healthy eating tomorrow or nothing will fit.

Joey is boating today; Megan is working; the BF is working....again.  I'm just puttering around getting some cleaning done and preparing for a short week of work. It's been lovely here weatherwise.  Today is sunny and 80.  The humidity of the past few days is gone.  I haven't made a dent in the yardwork but did get it started.

LOL..figured I better update this journal of mine.  Seems I spend all my time in my graphics journal.  I've been outed.  That used to be my "private" journal.  Joey discovered that I put some entries in there and was pretty smug about it.  Oh, well, I sort of figured it would only be a matter of time.  (Hi Joey!)

HUGS TO ALL.....

 

      Thanks, Shelly for the super tag!  (looks just like me...not...hehe)

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to a beloved friend and pet is so difficult.  Skitz wasn't my cat but yet was the whole family's kitty because she lived with us all at one time or another. 

Becky is having a hard time right now because Skittsy was a "cool" kitty and was her first kitty.  She followed her everywhere.  Becky was a wonderful "mommy" to Skitz although right now she is blaming herself and second guessing everything.  She is an animal lover and takes such good care of her furr babies.  It will take time.  Most of us have been through losing a beloved pet.  This is a first for her.

The pictures are from Becky's facebook.  She has a memorial page for her Skittsycat.  I told her that I would do a montage of sorts in my journal.  She is touched by all the thoughts and prayers being sent her way.

The outdoor pictures were taken on Saturday.  I think that is what is the hardest thing to deal with.  Skitz was romping around and seemed perfectly healthy on Saturday.  Within 24 hours, she was dying.  Not that we are ever prepared but this was just such a sudden shock.

I worry because Becky keeps so much inside.  I know eventually she will be ok with this.  So, we march forward.  Megan is coming home next Saturday.  I know she will be totally shocked also.  I haven't said anything toher when she's e-mailed me.

So much is on the plate this week.  My bus was in an accident on the way to work the day we put the kitty down.  No one was hurt but it wasn't a good start for a day that got worse.

Oy, I think I'm rambling.  I'm whooped.  Think I'll give Becky a call and then head off to sleep.

Hugs to all!  You're the best!  Chris

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