Uh hunh...that's me all right just spreading the old sunshine around...NOT. Right now I'm so blah, miserable and out of control. I cannot stand not being in control of things. I haven't failed miserably at this smoking thing but I sure didn't do as well as I wanted this weekend. I started out well but had far too much free time yesterday and last night. If I were motivated, I sure could have done some cleaning.
So, I'm at half a pack this weekend. It's far easier to severely limit cigarette intake at work because I have to physically leave the building. We have a long weekend next week due to Martin Luther King Day on Monday. I am biting the bullet and stopping cold turkey. I am tired of nicotine controlling me. Of course, this is scaring the crap out of me because I know what I'm going to be like. I know it takes 3 days for nicotine to clear the body. Yeah, I know all of this but when those withdrawal symptoms set in, I am more than a mess. Please continue to throw those prayers my way because prayer does work. I hate smoking; I hate the taste in my mouth; I am as wobbly as a bowl of jello when it comes to strength in this area. Nicotine withdrawal also brings my depressive crap out of remission. Ok...so these are my rants and worries. I can tackle so many things but I am addicted to a powerful drug. How in the world did I ever quit cold turkey years ago? I was in the midst of my worst depression at that time. Maybe I was so miserable anyway that it didn't matter.
Enough of that...Megan goes back to school today. I spoke with her advisor who seems very nice but Megan doesn't think he knows what he's talking about. She is so worried and frustrated. I would like her to cut her credits to 12 this semester. She really needs a good semester to lift her self esteem. Her advisor actually suggested that. I do feel so bad for her because she really has been trying so hard. Her advisor did tell me that half the class actually flunked the course she got a "D" in. She needs to go and see him tomorrow to redo her courses and her schedule. More prayer requests in that area also.
Time for me to motivate myself and get some work done around this house.
Blessings to all! CHRIS