Sunday, January 7, 2007

          

Uh hunh...that's me all right just spreading the old sunshine around...NOT.  Right now I'm so blah, miserable and out of control.  I cannot stand not being in control of things.  I haven't failed miserably at this smoking thing but I sure didn't do as well as I wanted this weekend.  I started out well but had far too much free time yesterday and last night.  If I were motivated, I sure could have done some cleaning.

So, I'm at half a pack this weekend.  It's far easier to severely limit cigarette intake at work because I have to physically leave the building.  We have a long weekend next week due to Martin Luther King Day on Monday.  I am biting the bullet and stopping cold turkey.  I am tired of nicotine controlling me.  Of course, this is scaring the crap out of me because I know what I'm going to be like.  I know it takes 3 days for nicotine to clear the body.  Yeah, I know all of this but when those withdrawal symptoms set in, I am more than a mess.  Please continue to throw those prayers my way because prayer does work.  I hate smoking; I hate the taste in my mouth; I am as wobbly as a bowl of jello when it comes to strength in this area.  Nicotine withdrawal also brings my depressive crap out of remission.  Ok...so these are my rants and worries.  I can tackle so many things but I am addicted to a powerful drug.  How in the world did I ever quit cold turkey years ago?  I was in the midst of my worst depression at that time.  Maybe I was so miserable anyway that it didn't matter.

Enough of that...Megan goes back to school today.  I spoke with her advisor who seems very nice but Megan doesn't think he knows what he's talking about.  She is so worried and frustrated.  I would like her to cut her credits to 12 this semester.  She really needs a good semester to lift her self esteem.  Her advisor actually suggested that.  I do feel so bad for her because she really has been trying so hard.  Her advisor did tell me that half the class actually flunked the course she got a "D" in.  She needs to go and see him tomorrow to redo her courses and her schedule.  More prayer requests in that area also.

Time for me to motivate myself and get some work done around this house.

Blessings to all!  CHRIS

 

 

 

 

35 comments:

sugarsweet056 said...

It's like that with food for me! So, I know you're feelings. {{ }}
Sending prayers your way.
Have a blessed Sunday.
Hugs, Sug

jeadie05 said...

Ido admire you keep trying am proud of you ,love Jan xx

mrsm711 said...

The first step is actually hating the taste and the control of nicotine.  Your on your way to beat this habbit.  You Go Girl!  Prayers to you and your daughter.  :)
http://journals.aol.com/mrsm711/LatteDah/     Tracy

lisa41076 said...

Chris, sending prayers to you and Megan too, good luck quitting smoking, it's not easy , but you can do it, Hugs Lisa

imgr8phil said...

You know, it isn't easy to stick to New year's resolutions, that is why I only make one every year . ..  not to make a new year's resolution.  You just set yourself up for failure and quickly fall into your same old trap of reasoning as to why you are doing something you don't want to do.  Quitting smoking isn't easy but it all comes down to mind over matter.  You have to have the mindset and be ready to completely stop it to be successful.  So take it slowly, cut back a little at a time if you have to and don't limit yourself to the restriction of a New Year's resolution.  Remember, your mind is in control, not the nicotine. Have a good Sunday.

Phil

pippa1116 said...

poor megan.  and it sounds like someone needs to talk to the intructor of that course.
I hope you have a better week. I have had the same issues with caffeine. ANOTHER powerful drug.  
hang in there.  you are a strong, strong, woman.  one way or another, you will find a way!
hugs
tina

my78novata said...

dont give up on quitting Kep on trying

astoriasand said...

Hang in there Chris it is so hard and my thoughts are with you.Strong prayers going out for you and your Daughter and all your family whatever they need. I will ask  God to help.Thankyou for the update.Take Care God bless.
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

shermeen0621 said...

Aw, its never easy quitting, but you sound determined. It does take a huge change in life style. One problem i had with quitting was going out. if i went out and i was drinking, i'd instantly get a craving to smoke. its really hard. but i'm wishing you the best of luck and i'll include you in my prayers!

Shermeen xx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/shermeen0621/shermsinthemiddle/

jckfrstross said...

have a good week:) and good luck on the no smoking its so hard but you can do it:)

Deb

ally123130585918 said...

Chris thinking of you and Megan will keep you both in my prayers ~ good Luck to you with the smoking and Megan with her school work ~ I am sure you will both succeed ~ Ally x

chat2missie said...

I have some motivation for ya.....My mom's nighbor who is only 42 had a major heart attack on Thursday.  She had to have a stent placed.  She has no other choice but to quit smoking cold turkey.  This woman took decent care of herself, just smoked.  You can do this!
Missie

candlejmr said...

I wish I could remember which journal I was reading yesterday.  Someone has a MIL who is dying of some horrible disease brought on by SECOND SMOKE.  She, herself doesn't even smoke!  The woman is heartbroken and she is BEGGING people to stop smoking.  It was a very sad entry.  I will try and find the link and forward it to you, NOT to make you feel bad, but maybe to give you that little extra bit of motivation you need to go another day WITHOUT a cigarette!

HANG IN THERE!!!

((hugs))
Jeanne

bethjunebug said...

You are not the only one that messes up sometimes. Habits are hard to break, and in due time it will happen. Keep on Keepin on!
God Bless,
Liz in Va.
http://journals.aol.com/bethjunebug/Bethjunebug

midwestvintage said...

I tried to quit smoking about 5 times before it took.  You sound sick enough of it that it should work.  I have been taking care of COPD patients all week struggling to breath.  It helps me stay on course thats for sure.

               Julie

jlocorriere05 said...

I know you can do it Chris, we're all here for you. I tried and failed, I know how hard it is for you, I get panic attacks with a racing heart if I stop. They say nicotine is more addictive than heroine. I'm praying for you to get through it. Also praying for Megan that she does better this year and can get her schedule changed. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

pharmolo said...

Keep going, Chris, you'll get the better of the N-word lol

am4039 said...

you can do it, I quit cold turkey when I was 21. I started at 13 then I quit. It was so hard, especially at that age lol when I was going out to bars every night. You can do it. Hopefully Megan well get her schedule all done and it all works out.

rdautumnsage said...

Oh come here and get a hug hon!! I know just what your going through. I did quit cold turkey , but I gotta tell ya. Try not to laugh, I actually dreamed about smoking the other night. I want to buy a pack of smokes so bad. Then on top of it, I got a certificate in the mail for American Spirits witch is what I was smoking , for
$15 . Ughh!!!!! Yep I know exactly what your going through. Skye doesn't go back to school until the 21st of this month. You can bet your in my prayers on the smoke. (Hugs) Love Ya Indigo

siennastarr said...

Chris, my sweet friend.. I am praying so hard for you.  I pray God gives you the strenght to get through this withdrawal..because I know once you get pass that, you can do anything.  You will do it, Chris, because you WANT to do it.  You HAVE to do it.. for the sake of your health.

As for Megan... I will keep  her in my prayers as well.  Studying and college is not easy, and I'm glad that she is being given some extra chances to try and find out what will make it all easier on her.

Thanks for making those tags for Alisa... we copied them to her PB and they seemed to work fine now.  I realized it's because we were saving them as jpgs.  So... umm.... check your email....ummm....yeah... lol

Love you
jackie

fuzilady said...

I am so keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I smoke and you know what is wierd-I cannot stand people smoking around me, cannot stand smoke in the car or anything, but yet I still do it. I am hoping I get the willpower to quit this year too :P
Keeping Megan in my thoughts too.

hugs and love
Jennifer

p.s. love the graphics, she will love those

oxobagladyoxo said...

I know it's been awhile since I have stopped by. I am sending my prayers for your daughter and for you to quit smoking. I know how hard it is to quit smoking. Ok... Big hugs & Best Wishes for the New Year!

Hugs,
Chelle

princesssaurora said...

Stopping smoking is so hard.  Eat celery and drink lots of water.  Something in the celery helps to flush your system of the nicotine faster.  I am praying for you friend.  And, for Megan.  I hope she settles in and doesn't stress out too much.

be well,
Dawn

penniepooh said...

Hi Chris...I`ve heard that kicking a habit like smoking the 2nd time around is more difficult than the first. Keep handing it over to God. I`ll be praying. You can do it!
I wish Megan all the best. Sounds like she has some tough classes, for sure.
Love ya xo
penny

zoepaul6968 said...

good luck with giving up hun,I start monday so Im with you all the way hun xxzoexx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/DomesticAbuse/

queeniemart said...

YOU CAN DO THIS, Chris. Even if you dont think you can, you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XO lisa

helloimkara said...

Well Chris if anyone can quit smoking it is you!  I can't even imagine how hard it must be!  Pray for strength!

Kara

xxroxymamaxx said...

God, I remember when I quit smoking....ryan had also quit a demon of his on the same day...so for like two weeks we were both jerks! lol  You CAN do it!  Prayers for you and Megan!  Love ya, Shelly

gehi6 said...

Oh I am so pleased that you are committing yourself to quitting smoking. I am very interested in trying to help someone do that, if I can.  My son called to say that he was into 3 days of detoxing from cigarettes. He says the first 3 days are the worst.  Doc is just gearing up to try to quit drinking.  He is having a battery of tests next week and then....I am gearing up as usual to try to lose weight. A few pounds slipped back this last year instead of more off!  But I figure if Doc will get into the quitting something mode, I will be able to stick to plan better. I was pleased to find a pic of you in here. I have got to get over to your graphics journal one of these days.  Time, time.  And good luck good luck with giving up cigarettes!   Gerry

queenb8261 said...

You GO girl! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.  Can you take herbs? I can't think of the name of the specific one but there are several you can take for mood elevation.  I took a lot of herbs before I had to get on all this other medication I am on.
Hang in there, kid. I KNOW you'll be successful.
Warm hugs, Barb  

rebuketheworld said...

Girl, I wish you lived closer...as you know, I am with you....We both will be happy soon enough.....your doing better than me....so I am encouraged...I am going to try again tomorrow.......~Raven

tpiez4me said...

Lil miss merry sunshine, when you find some motivation send some my way!

sjdodgerfan81 said...

Hello :) Prayer will be sent for her grades and for the class.. Wishing you a wonderful weekend :) Lots of Love ..ALisa

gotomaria said...

Hang in there Chris!  My husband tells me there are flavored nicotine gums out there now...like Cherry!  He smokes those little cigarillos and I wish he'd quit.  It's really hard to travel with him on airplanes...he litterly has anxiety attacks which he can't control too well.....he starts shaking....and he hates small crowded spaces too.   I will be sending you thoughts of success and a peaceful journey through this challenging road you are on.   Thinking of you and sending hugs....
Maria  

shayshaydc said...

Hang in there Chris!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! If I could... you can!!!! It is hard but well worth it in the long run!!!!! Sending prayers your way!!!! When the urge hits try and busy yourself with something that will help take your mind off of it til the urge passes!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)