Some days are just so much more frustrating that others.  I'm not totally smoke-free.  Yeah...I cheated.  I've had 3 cigarettes today but I consider that somewhat successful; far better than the pack to pack and a half a day.  Actually, I went most of the day without any.  The one I smoked as soon as I got home tasted yucky so I think that's saying something.

Got a stinkin headache....think it's nicotine withdrawal but something I'll have to deal with.

My son called me so many times today.  I inherited my youngest's cell phone when she got a new one.  She has her brother's number programmed in as Turkey in the Straw so every time he calls that is what rings.  I fell asleep on the bus and woke up to Turkey in the Straw.  Man, I wanted to toss that phone...LOL...a little testy here.  My son said our computer had shut itself off.  When he turned it back on Windows had disappeared. What was I supposed to do?  I'm on a freakin bus at least 45 min from home.  The computer is a month old with one gig of whatever and has more computer check ups, big fix's and windows check ups to fix itself...There are always things popping up to correct problems.  Sheesh.......

He had it running when I got home...started it in the safe mode and did God only knows what to get windows back up.  He says it is mini crashing because I'm downloading graphics and getting spyware.  The spyware is blocked by AOL.  He deleted it all.  He told me Uncle G, my brother, ruins hard drives yearly from downloading pictures.  Yep, he sure does.  But he is into sites that I won't even mention and downloading extremely questionable things.  I didn't need this stupid stuff from my kid when I got home tonite.

Question to all those graphic lovers out there:  Does downloading clip art and graphics crash computers or cause problems?

Now, I have to wonder if I should buy the extended warranty for $100 for three years of coverage.  My BF says no but he also tried to talk me out of buying the extended warranty on my car.  Boy, amI glad I followed my instincts on that one and bought the warranty.

And back to the bus....public transit has those rules that IPods and cd players have to have headphones.  Yeah, they do. But why on earth can you still hear them and loud too when the darned headphones are on?  There were three people sitting close to me playing three different types of music blasting away right out of the headphones.  I had just finally blocked it and gone to sleep when the old Turkey in the Straw started blasting away.....boy, I am cranky......LOL

So, anyhoo, tomorrow is another day off....Veterans Day.  I have to drive back into Pgh to take my daughter one of her fancy dresses for something she's going to this weekend.  She is taking me out for a belated birthday lunch.

Two steps forward; one step back...but I'm working very hard on this smoking thing.........

 

chris

A Change is A Comin

LOL....another birthday greeting was sent my way by one of my crazy friends.  I'm trying to figure out which one she thinks I am.  I certainly hope it's the one on the right.

Anyway, I do not like the name of my journal and am planning to change it very soon.  Just have a little bit of brain freeze and can't come up with anything creative.  Must be the lack of nicotine...hehehe

Any suggestions would be appreciated...LOL...keep it clean.....

 

                                                                                       

                         

 

       chris                    

My first birthday greeting from Shelly <Hugz> actually made by Shelly and so cute. XX Roxy Mama XX

I'm not so sure how this smoking thing will go but I've learned that for every step forward there are a couple of backward steps.  Just a fact of life........

Am I all "growed" up now?  LOL...don't think so.  I got this in an e-mail today and not too much of the list applies.  Think I still feel young.  YAY!!

Anyway, the spacing is off on this whole entry because I removed the graphics from the e-mail.  It takes way too long for this journal to download and I'm not a patient person. 

 

Signs You've Grown Up 

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a-one of them. 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 

3. You keep more food than  beer in the fridge. 

4.  6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 

6. You carry an  umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.' 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the  stereo. 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 

12. You don't know what time  Taco Bell closes anymore. 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's. 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m. 

17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one. 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather thansettle, your stomach. 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy 
test kits. 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.' 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 

24. You don't  drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you 

 

  

ARGGGG!!!

Ok...so this has to get easier, right?  #$#%@   I already cheated so I figured the best thing to do was throw the darned things away.  Better yet, they are now riding away in the garbage truck. 

This isn't the first time I quit.  I actually quit smoking for 16 years and started again in 1991 when we were in a serious car accident and my son was in the trauma unit....geez was I stupid or what?

I was also smoke-free for two days in Aug. when I was in the hospital.  I had chest pains which turned out to be nothing but had a full cardiac work-up because I have high blood pressure.  Now, this is the kicker....they had to quit giving me my medication for my blood pressure as the nicotine cleared my body.  If I don't smoke, my blood pressure is normal.  With the medication and not smoking, it was something like 80/50 which wasn't healthy...LOL.  But I was a total bitch...  I tried to escape so many times but darned if there wasn't someone watching me 24/7.  I would have smoked in the bathroom but they put me in a room with a lady with oxygen.  So, what did I do when I was let loose....smoked a cigarette.  Sheesh......stupid again.

Now the fun starts....I have to break it to my son that there will be no smoking in the house.  He has been trying to quit smoking anyway.

My conclusion is the easiest way to stop smoking is not to start smoking to begin with.

I think I'll take that 4 bucks a day (Pa. price for cigarettes) and put it in a jar.  4 X 365 days.....dayum....that's some serious cash..........

No doubt about it........sorry guys but I have the feeling my journal is going to be x-rated as the days go on.........

 yikes...did I really do this.....I may have to edit it....LOL...but bear with me please because they're coming to take me away...HA HA............

your pal.....christine (think I'll use that as my alter ego until I become sane again)

                               

Celebration!

This is going to be very short and sweet.  I am going out tonite with my BF to celebrate my birthday (it does start at midnight) and to smoke that last pack(s) of cigarettes.  I'm gonna kick up my heels and make it a good one. 

I decided to take my regular day off tomorrow and enjoy myself.  So...LOL...you might see a definite change in my posting style tomorrow when the nicotine crazies turn me into a maniac.

Later......chris

Ok....so I've been looking back over my journal and I tend to be goofy and funny and that's ok.  I've always been the clown who loves to make people laugh.  And....I like to avoid things.  Just shove them in the closet until the door bursts open...literally and figuratively.

I have another upper respiratory infection and don't feel well...once again.  I am also addicted to a powerful drug.....namely....nicotine.  Nicotine won't kill you....it's the tar and other crap in cigarettes that will.  Nicotine just keeps calling you back.  My son is the only child of mine that also smokes.  He has been hypnotized, used the patch, accupuncture...it all works for a day or two but Mama still puffs and he ends up starting again.

My girls beg me to quit.  My oldest is in the medical field and sends me literature and pictures of lungs that are so graphically disgusting and yet I puff away.  I take care of every other aspect of my health in my life but this one.  This one I have been shoving into my closet until the latest VIVI Awards.  My closet door won't close anymore thanks to the journal of  Pamela.  It's a beautiful journal and a testimony but it scares the crap out of me.  I have it on my favorites places.  I've deleted it and put it back there so many times in the past two days.  Pamela is blocking my closet door.

Why?  Because Pamela has put a face on an ugly disease that nicotine makes us want to deny. 

I bought the strongest patch today to ward off the nicotine cravings and have a prescription for Wellbutrin.  Wednesday, my birthday, is my target day.

If I am successful this time, my children will owe this all to the beautiful Pamela.

Just One Girls Head Noise

LOL....no way am I wearing that other dress.....this one is da bomb.....might need a very heavy duty corset but this dress is mine....Thanks, Betty!   (I promise....no more Betty Boop)  Whoooo...now this is hard on the eyes..........