Monday, November 7, 2005 I've been looking back over my journal and I tend to be goofy and funny and that's ok.  I've always been the clown who loves to make people laugh.  And....I like to avoid things.  Just shove them in the closet until the door bursts open...literally and figuratively.

I have another upper respiratory infection and don't feel well...once again.  I am also addicted to a powerful drug.....namely....nicotine.  Nicotine won't kill's the tar and other crap in cigarettes that will.  Nicotine just keeps calling you back.  My son is the only child of mine that also smokes.  He has been hypnotized, used the patch, all works for a day or two but Mama still puffs and he ends up starting again.

My girls beg me to quit.  My oldest is in the medical field and sends me literature and pictures of lungs that are so graphically disgusting and yet I puff away.  I take care of every other aspect of my health in my life but this one.  This one I have been shoving into my closet until the latest VIVI Awards.  My closet door won't close anymore thanks to the journal of  Pamela.  It's a beautiful journal and a testimony but it scares the crap out of me.  I have it on my favorites places.  I've deleted it and put it back there so many times in the past two days.  Pamela is blocking my closet door.

Why?  Because Pamela has put a face on an ugly disease that nicotine makes us want to deny. 

I bought the strongest patch today to ward off the nicotine cravings and have a prescription for Wellbutrin.  Wednesday, my birthday, is my target day.

If I am successful this time, my children will owe this all to the beautiful Pamela.

Just One Girls Head Noise


helloimkara said...

Chris good for you!  I have never smoked so I do not know what it feels like to have that addiction but your courage and determination is inspiring!  You can do it!!!  Keep us posted :)


xxroxymamaxx said...

Congratulations on your decision!  And thanks for the link....a few j-landers told me I should read her journal because my dad has lung cancer.  I wish you the best of luck and success.  YOU can do it.  GBU, Shelly

pennietoonz said...

Sorry you`re not feeling well. I know people who are trying to quit smoking and it must be tough. I never started that habit. One of my best friends was able to quit using the patch. Be strong!!

bignewmanut said...

I really wish you well on the smoking issue. I quit 7 or 8 years ago. It will never happen unless YOU want to quit.Not for your kids, friends ,or family, but for you! I used nothing but will power and an understanding wife who put up with me when I was really pissy and wanted to give up. You can do this, have faith in yourself.

therealslimemmy said...

Hi Chris...thanks for stoppin by my journal...happy early birthday to you as well.!  I hope you feel well soon...I know quitting smoking is extremely hard...i quit while i was pregnant just to start up agian...sigh...havent tried the patch or anything though...did it work for your son???
well take care ttyl
<3, emily

kdcutie26 said...

I have so much faith in you Chris.  My whole family quit smoking when my aunt had her heart and double lung transplant.  Her name was also Chris, I know that you can do it.  My auntie is no longer with us, but quitting smoking prolonged her life by fifteen years.  YOU CAN DOOOOOOOOOOOO IT LOL!  :)
Katie Jane

krspkrmmom said...

hi...i'm Annie, and i'm an addict keeps me sane.

btw, here's the link to the igloo...thought you'd like to see

Annie =)

lici0uslatin22 said...

Hey... I know you could do..  Were I work out here in the Dr. Office he says the best medecine to stop smoking is you inner strenght.. So I know you could do it...

Take Care Mari ... Courage is the Power..

thinkingoutloud said...

Yep. :*(

When we lost Pamela was when I quit my journal.
I don't smoke, never have.  But her death really touched me.  She touched me as a really strong woman.  Amazing.

I hope this finds you smoke-free.