The Real Rules of Women
as recorded by a man
-Women are rarely right the first time, but they excel at changing their minds.
-They are often quite opinionated, but they don't have a clue why.
-They seem to think that going to the bathroom is a social event, not a bodily function.
-Women spend more time doing useless things like fixing their hair than really important things like fixing dinner.
-Their attention spans can't handle talking about a single subject for more than 30 seconds.
-Women think the speed limit is a government-approved suggestion and that those double yellow lines are merely for decorating the road.
-They couldn't tell the difference between a sawsall and a fuel pump to save their lives.
-Women throw objects like baseballs just as well as men. Arthritic quadriplegic men that is.
-The difference between a woman and an umbrella is that one of them shuts up.
-They cry when they are sad, angry, upset, happy, frustrated, or whenever else an opportunity is presented.
-They think the death of a pet hamster is one of the most traumatic events of their childhood.
-If you don't notice their new haircut, sweater, socks, nail polish, ect., you might as well kiss friendship goodbye.
-For women, chronic gullibility is not a disease, it is a way of life.
-They root for the football team with the prettiest uniforms.
-They ask questions that have absolutely no right answer. "Do you think I'm gaining weight?"
-Among the things they think essential to sustain life, they list shopping malls