Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Beautiful Dreamer


It's been one of those aggravating days, and I'm beginning to wonder just why I'm so fussed about it.  Me,, I vent but I'm really so out of sorts about so many things which are really aggravations but nothing major.  (The tag at the top is snaggable, if you want, as always.)

I just had a zillion things to get done today plus I have Embarq coming Saturday to replace my phone lines in my house and install a splitter.  My new modem arrived yesterday and was far worse than the old one.  Embarq was able to pinpoint exactly which jacks are malfunctioning; one of them my PC is connected to.  Why, in God's name, the guy in March didn't care to address that or even acknowledge it, who knows.  Probably wanted to get home.  Anyway, I've had over 13,000 disconnections since Jan. when it was installed.  It was running well all summer but started acting up again a month ago.  For some reason, today hasn't been awful DSL wise.

Anyway, my house has gotten so messy since the Dish was installed.  I simply cannot bear someone entering this house when it looks like this.  I knew I would never get everything I needed to get done on Friday evening because I would be whooped so once again I used another vacation day.  I always feel so guilty but I don't take vacations.  Today was just an example of  my "vacations."

My bathtub is clogged.  The plunger queen gives up.  I had to buy some enzyme crap because I have a fiberglass bath fitter, and Drano would eat it away.  Lord, how do I function without my  The local hardware store guy doesn't think the enzymes will eat through hair which is what is clogging the drain.  What to do?  I could always call my handy dandy plumber, Randy, which I might do because he will give me suggestions and pay a visit as a last resort.

I spent a couple of hours on the phone fussing with Blue Cross/Blue Shield, the doctor's office and lab because of being billed forlab tests that should have been coded differently plus fussing big time because Megan is still considered as "pediatric" under my Blue Cross plan because she is a dependent child. The AMA does not approve pap smears for pediatrics. Puhlease, she was kicked out of the pediatrician's office when she turned 18 and may be a child on my insurance but is an adult.  What a bunch of BS.  I got a bill for $474 yesterday for the gyne visit and lab tests.  Another hr on the phone with me getting totally out of control but in the end, it was an adjuster's error and payment was made. 

So, I'm feeling so fragile right now which I hate because I've gone through so much and am much stronger than this.  Dang, I miss my dad again.  My daddy could always makes things right.  I know I'm learning lessons in humility and being humble because my dad kind of spoiled me.  Today, I'm feeling like little Chrissy again who wants to go crying to daddy to fix everything.  I don't want to be grown up today and have to be responsible for so much.  I want to wave a magic wand and make my baby all better.  Actually, I lost it when I was talking to Blue Cross because how dare they deny my daughter the right to something which will save her life.  Much as I tried, I burst into tears.  I used to do that all the time during confrontations but it's been years.  I hate when I blubber. 

My brother's wife is supposed to call about Thanksgiving tonight.  That's a whole new entry which I don't want to think about right now.

I'm not pressing my luck.  I want to save this and try to get around and visit.  I fell asleep during Dancing with the Stars right after Mario and Emmitt's first dance...grrr.  I best stay awake tonight.

Thank you all for your prayers and listening to my sad sack entry.  I know I will rebound as always.



queeniemart said...

You are in my thoughts and is just too much at times for all of us....and the little annoyances can send a person over the edge. I have been praying for Megan....i love you,

my78novata said...

you know i know a woman who it was the little things thatadded up. when I was young very young this was in the late sixties or early 70's she was found on the side of the raod crying because she lost her ocnway twitty tape and she just lost it right there. she was a friend of my moms. To this day I will never forget that. Yes I want to be a toys are us kid and stay that way many days

candlejmr said...

I think I may have missed something.  What is wrong with Megan?  I have seen all sorts of gorgeous pictures of the girl and I never knew there was anything wrong with her.  Is there?

I HATE being on the phone with all that crap.  You spend 1/2 the day on hold!  I have a mail away prescription plan that I have used for the last couple of years.  Today i get a letter saying I am not covered under the mail away prescription program.  HUH?  Well, after being on the phone for an hour (on hold for probably 50 minutes of that hour!) they discover that they had changed the address of the center that covers my husbands employer and they forgot to tell it was mailed to the wrong place.  DUH.

I don't want to be an adult this week either.  I'm sick of it.  Too much work, not enough play time.  

Lets play hookey tomorrow and go to the BEACH!!!!!

Jeanne is going to RAIN tomorrow!!! (lol)

siennastarr said...

Well, this week is your week.. last week was mine.  This is your journal, darlin', blubber away!  Vent, and get it all out!  It feels so much better to do that sometimes.   Murphy's law.  What can go wrong.. will.  I hate that law.. but it sure is true!  
It will all work out...every bit of it.  Right now it feels overwhelming, and it is... but next week, you may not look back and laugh.. but you will read this entry, and snort at yourself!

I know you will.  Want to know how I know?  Because you and I are so much alike! GMTA!  

Love you

lisa41076 said...

Chris, I once wrote a poem called Beautiful Dreamer, sending hugs to comfort you, Huggggggggggggggsssssssssssssssssss Lisa

jckfrstross said...

vent away:) i know exactly how you feel:) try and have a good evening:) 2 more days to go woohoo


penniepooh said...

Oh Chris, no wonder you`re stressing. Who wouldn`t be? One frustrating thing after another all day long. Grrr...  Okay, you got the insurance thing settled. That`s good! One thing at a time.... I know how it can be to have all this going on and no dad or hubby to lean on for help. Keep praying and put it all in HIS hands. The good Lord always sees us through.
Love you xo. I wish there was something I could do to help!

queenb8261 said...

I had one of those days yesterday.  Only with our bank. They have got things screwed up and I am going to have to be the one to straighten it out.  I don't know what we are doing Thanksgiving and it's making me nuts.  
  Sending hugs and prayers, Barb  

astoriasand said...

Yes Chris I feel the same way today.I am going back to bed to see if that will help.Stress weakens me somewhat shocking,and I have had plenty this week with AOL and 2 lots of bad news in the family.Also the stress of Christmas creaping up on us.Sigh! So I hope things pick up for you.I too miss my mother in the same way you do your dear father.Take Care God Bless.

lanurseprn said...

Hi Chris. I've been keeping you and your family in my prayers.  You are always in my thoughts.  I think when you are going through something big like this thing with your daughter, then everything is more intense.  Harder to handle the day to day life stuff.  It can be tough anyway...but when you've got the added stress it's worse.
I miss my mom who fixed stuff for me. No longer it's ME and I hate to do it!   I can't stand to be the "fixer" but I am.  It's good to hear someone say they want to be a kid again.  I do too!
Take it easy when you can. Make sure to take care of YOU!
Love you......Pam

rebuketheworld said...

Girl I could so relate to wanting someone to come in and rescue all tire...and yes we get it together...but its a roller coaster....Yah know the best quickie vacation is a full on facial and body massage...for two hours...your in heaven...I have to sit in my car and cry afterwards....its like toxins released too..Hoping, this all will wipe away quickly...and you can breathe some surreal rest soon....-Raven

jeadie05 said...

Poor Chris ,it just seems the odds are stacked against you ,things have to come right soon ,know how you feel missing your Dad ,crying on the phone! maybe you needed to cry  .....Jan xx

fuzilady said...

Got to love insurance companies.  They are the best. I fought with mine so much when I had cancer. They wouldn't cover one of my pills for naseau, and you could only get one cat scan a year. And so many visits to er and such.  That was blue cross too :P
The naseau pill(I kid you not, this is true), cost 45 dollars a pill. Amazing huh?

It will get better I promise
hugs and love

seraphoflove9001 said...

Oh my! Thing will get better. It has to. Hugs sent to you.

ally123130585918 said...

Morning Chris ~ I think all of us are having problems with aol I have been disconnected so many times I have lost count ~ and not getting some alerts ~ it really is frustrating ~ OMG you have so many issues going on I hope things start to get better ~ will keep you in my thoughts and prayers ~ Ally

rainy35 said...

I know how frustrating it is to talk to insurance companies.  My dr. Rx'd a med ($900 a month) that I have to have 8 mos. ago.  It's the only med the FDA approves for this condition.  My insurance doesn't cover it.  So I could ask for a expedited reconsideration with the help fro my dr.  They turned me down.  I asked for another one. Turned down.  Then I asked for a hearing before an administrative law judge.  The court ordered the insurance company to cover it for me at the end of August.  I thought great.  My dr. had to write another RX.  For the past 2 mos., I've had to go back and forth with the insurance company.  They said the pharmacy was using the wrong NDC # which they weren't.  The old one had been changed in July and the ins. co. didn't put it in their systems.  I'm the patient.  Why should I have to straighten this out?  FINALLY, 2 days ago, they finally straightened it out after I got pissed and put pressure on them.  I was about to call the judge telling him my ins. co. was failing to abide by the court order!  I should get my med tomorrow by FED-EX.  This is the short version.  LOL

kdcutie26 said...

I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now love.  We are here to listen.  I remember last year at Thanksgiving and your sis in law.  I don't blame you if you don't want to talk about it again.
Katie Jane

helloimkara said...

I seriously think we all need to bomb our insurance companies! They are a joke!  Some idiot behind a desk gets to decided what we do and do not need and they have never even met us!  I have had more than my fair share of crap from my insurance company and I also loose it and start crying because they make everything so difficult! I'm so sorry...  you have every right to fuss and be upset with all the hoops you are having to jump through! Hang in there Chris :)


chat2missie said...

My husband doesn't like to tell anyone he works for an insurance co since no one like them! LOL.  Hope you had a better Thursday.

jlocorriere05 said...

I'm so sorry you have all the problems to deal with over the insurance too, it makes me glad to be in the UK where we don't have to deal with that kind of thing. I hope they get your phone line sorted for you so all the disconnections will become a faded nightmare. Jeannette xx

xxroxymamaxx said...

I remember you saying something about your SIL last year around the holidays.  Sorry all things are happening to you.  Tomorrow will be better. : )  Hugs and GBU, Shelly

zoepaul6968 said...

it sounds like youre having a tough time hun,its always the way,missing your dad doesnt help,but he is still with you,you are strong and things will get better....except for aol but thats another story lol,have a good weekend zoe xx

shermeen0621 said...

I'm sorry that things aren't going so well for you right now, i really hope they get better. I really dont get America and your insurance companies, but i suppose i'll have to figure it out soon enough.

Hope you're well.
Shermeen xx

shayshaydc said...

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now!!!! I have been going through some crap here lately too!!!! Maybe we can meet up and cry in our beer together!!! LOL...