Saturday, March 3, 2007

A Broken Heart

           

At 3:25 a.m. this morning, my heart was literally ripped out of my body.  To clarify, nobody was hurt physically, thank God, but mama has died a million deaths inside since that exact time.

My telephone rang.  My landline, and I just knew what it was before I answered.  It was the Butler Township police.  I knew what would be said before it was.  Somehow I knew that nobody was hurt but the words ripped through my entire being.  Megan was picked up on a DUI; her first night home on break.

Where in the world have I gone wrong?  I've preached and preached until I've been blue in the face with all three of my children about drinking and driving.  I've told them to call me.  I would pick them up with no questions asked; no lectures.  I have a zero tolerance toward DUI's because their dad is an alcoholic and drinking and driving kills.

She was going out to eat close by but ended up on the other side of the county with Joey's work equipment in the car; my old car; but what's the difference?  My car is impounded; Joey will miss a major welding class because we cannot get near the car until 9 this morning.  God only knows what the fine is to pick it up.

There are ramifications; many.  Underage drinking, fake ID, traffic violations, a DUI and fines which I have no idea where the money will come from.  But, the biggest heartbreak is that this actually happened.

My world is just spinning totally out of control.

                                     Chris

31 comments:

springangel235 said...

Chris, my heart and soul go out to you now.  I feel your pain, we have a teen grandson, that we worry about peer pressure, all of the things you went through with Megan. God will see you through this, find comfort in his words, and stay strong.  My prayers, and love go to you now.  Hugs galore,
Joyce

jlocorriere05 said...

Chris, I'm so sorry for you. No, you didn't go wrong. You're not responsible for another persons actions. You can only try to teach them but some kids just think nothing will happen to them, they won't get caught. I hope she's learnt her lesson now. I'll be praying all this won't cost you too much and at least nobody was injured through Megan's driving. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

queeniemart said...

Chris, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. NOTHING. You are a wonderful mother. Megan knew better......but Megan is just a young lady and like these damn teenagers they go thru life thinking the rules dont apply to them or they wont get caught or they are invincible. She knew better, she did it anyway. THANK GOD SHE WAS NOT HURT, i am sitting here crying for you. I have told both my kids the same thing.....call me, no lectures, no questions asked. Will they? Probaly not.
I went thru ONE DUI with Rick. 10 yrs ago. It was beyond the worst thing ever. Cost us $1700 to get him to keep his license to keep his job and he had to go to some weekend drunk tank and watch babies get killed by drunks plus jail time plus lawyer fees out our ass. I almost left him over this, it was THAT serious. Awful! If you need to talk, i am sending you my phone #.
I love you and i am sorry, so very sorry. This will cause her to grow up. She will really freak when she gets into court.
Love,lisa

nightmaremom said...

Chris.. you have not failed.. you are a wonderful Mom.  Megan made the choice knowing it was wrong.  It will be an expensive lesson for her... but she will learn.  Trust me.   I will keep you all in good thoughts... no one was hurt and the car is one piece.
hugs
d

pharmolo said...

Don't beat yourself over this, Chris. It is disappointing, but let it be a lesson to Megan to listen to your advice. I hope the penalties are not too severe.

xxroxymamaxx said...

I'm so sorry Chris.  I have two girls coming up on that age.  I'm scared.  God bless you and help you through this.  Love ya, Shelly

jeadie05 said...

Dont beat your self up a bout this Chris ,when my husband died ,leaving me with four horrible teenagers ,they pulled some stunts ,but eventually grew up to be nice human beings ,..love Jan xx

siennastarr said...

{{{{Chris}}}}

Something from me on the way.. Check your email..

Love you
Jackie

helloimkara said...

Oh my gosh Chris!  I would be devistated as well. Bottom line is this... Megan made these choices and not you.  She needs to be the one to clean up the mess not you!  Please don't blame yourself!  You've taught her right from wrong and thats all you can do. I am so very sorry!!!

Kara

ally123130585918 said...

Chris I am so sorry at what has happened ~ but you must not feel guilty ~ you can only give your children advice and hope to God they listen to you ~ hope this has taught her a lesson and I hope it is not going to cost her a lot of money ~ Ally

jckfrstross said...

Chris my heart is breaking for you:) please remember megan is the one who choose to get behind the wheel while drinking. She is the one who needs to pay the fines and etc.... Keeping you in prayer

Deb

helmswondermom said...

I am so sorry.  Hopefully she'll learn a lesson from this and will not do it again.  I hope the fines aren't too bad.  
Lori
http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages

my78novata said...

not to mention insruance raising. MAN Kids do not think {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} you must be heart broken and riped to pieces nad feel so let down and shreeded apart. And the fact it cost others a class and the money and other stuff. Man I know no words can help you feel a hot cold flash and a gut wrenching pain. try to tel your self atleast she was caught before anyone was physically injured or ti was a call to the morgue. I pray this will teach her but who knows with kids. But I know your heart is torn in shreds

rdautumnsage said...

I feel for you, hon. But having a daughter myself in her first year in college, I can say this-You raised her right, you set the boundaries to what makes a good human being, taught her all the morals she should uphold. Then here is the hard part......you can no longer do anything more. You did your part, now it's up to Megan to do hers. She can either take the lessons to heart, or she she can royally screw up her life. At this point in her life that is out of your control. Yes, your still her mother and you can worry and give advice. But the choices from here on in are hers. Harsh as it may seem, don't pay her way out of this. Make her pay her own fines, work off her own debt to society. How else will she learn that her actions have repercussions. Megan has official made her entrance into adulthood, good or bad. (Hugs) I'm here for you hon. I hope I don't sound too harsh. I just don't want you suffering needlessly. Love Ya Indigo

ajquinn354 said...

Chris, sorry for your news, but think it's time to let your daughter be responsible for the fines, violations, etc. she committed while drinking.  Maybe that will finally open her eyes to the path she's going. Don't let your world spin out of control dear, understand your feelings......let her learn from this.  I lost my Sis and nephew because of a drunk driver, a pain and loss my family will never get over, let her have to become responsible for what she did so she'll learn and realize she was lucky she didn't kill some innocent people or herself that you would have to grieve for.
Arlene (AJ)

lanurseprn said...

I'm so sorry this happened. It has no reflection on the kind of mom you have been. So don't think it's in any way your fault.  Be thankful that she didn't get hurt, or killed. And nobody else did either.  Maybe this happened to teach her a lesson so she won't do it again.
Take care sweetie....
Hugs to you...Pam xoxoxoxoxox

midwestvintage said...

 My mother was a wonderful mother and I would have done something like this in my teenage years.  Its no reflection on her and its no reflection on your.  Kids will be kids.  Take some deep breaths and hope things work out.   Hugs to you.  Being a parent is really the hardest job in the world.

                               Julie

chat2missie said...

You did nothing wrong as a mother.  She chose to do the wrong thing.  She knew it was wrong.  I'm so sorry your going thru this.  I can't imagine how angry but scared you are as to what all will happen now.  Good Luck!!  
Missie

penniepooh said...

((( Chris )))   I am just now reading this or I would have contacted you earlier. So very sorry to hear about Megan. I agree with some of the other comments - this isn`t a reflection of you as a mother. Don`t beat yourself up about that. We`ve all done stupid things as kids. Lord knows I did.
I hope she never ever does this again. Your heart must be breaking. Call me if you need to talk. Or I may call you. I care about you and your family so much. Thank God she is safe and no one got hurt. I`m here if you need me, sweetie.
Love you so much,
Penny

llbrown247 said...

I am so sorry Chris. Just wanted you to know I am praying for you. Praying for Wisdom for you to know what to say and do about this situation. It is true children cannot realize what parents go through to get them grown and mature. It is still worth it but can relate to your heartache. Praying for your daughter too.
Linda

tendernoggle said...

Chris...
Listen to me.....YOU did not fail....SHe is a teenager that has made a big mistake...as most teens will do sooner or later...I know you are worried..that is only natural....You will worry about your kids until the day you die...even grown ones...but unfortunately, we can not make them do as we say...(Lord knows I wish we could!) we can only hope and pray for them to do the right thing.
I know this also has you worried about the money and fines, and all that it has messed up...I am so sorry hon...but things will get better...
God bless you...
love ya,
carlene

astoriasand said...

OH Dear Chris .I understand where you are coming from but please do not make yourself ill over this.We all do our best as mum's and sometimes these things go wrong to teach them a lesson.It's no use worrying over spilt milk.It will not make it come right.Take every day as it comes and try not to worry about things we cannot mend.Leave it to God he will bring things right in the end.God sends heavy loads to those who can carry them.Just has he had to.She is not the first to do this and she will definatly not be the last either.Even though we as Mums are dead against the thoughts of drinking and driving and know it is wrong..I am so sorry to read this.We all learn by our mistakes in life.Seems like you get like I used to get.Everything at one stage in my life seemed to come to my door through what the kids had done or got up to,nothing too serious mind but to me they seemed so..Just like you I worried myself into a hospital bed,for quite a time .WHAT for??? It all came right in the end.So PLEASE PLEASE try relax and I am behind you and with you in thought and prayer should you need to E. Mail me do so anytime .Sorry Joey will miss his class .I know it's no exuse for Megan,but it could have been an accident at least she is OK!!!! .She is well  and not hurt.so try shake it off and do not feel guilty yourself.You are not to blame.RIGHT!! I will say strong prayers for all of you.Knowone can take from you what you havn't got,so do not worry aboutt that side of the problem.you still have your wonderful family who you have done your best for and your hands.Remmeber God is Good and on your shoulder .Keep your spirit up and try to be strong.I send you a MUMS Cuddle hope it helps,to ease the pain a little right now.Take Care God Bless.
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

princesssaurora said...

Oh Chris!!!!!  I am so sorry!!!!!  {{{ Hugs }}}  I know this is an awful way for a lesson, but at least there was no injury... Megan I am sure will learn from this...

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

chevyz71gurl74 said...

I am so sorry this has happend Chris....
When Jeff and I were dating...he got a DUI...
his mother wanted to pick him up from jail...but he
told her no, he wanted to stay the night there and learn a
lesson...and that he did...he has NEVER drove while drinking
again... You did nothing wrong Chris...we all make bad decisions growing up....hopefully she learned a lesson and thank God no one was hurt....
Hugs,
Terri

dwhee70041 said...

Chris, that is one of my biggest fears.  Thank the Lord nobody has been injured and a powerful lesson has been learned.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
David

pippa1116 said...

oh chris, I am so sorry!!!!! my prayers are with you and yours.  just be glad it wasn't in TN. here, the first time is 30 days min!  I hope she has learned her lesson in this.
hugs
tina

gehi6 said...

I am so sorry to read this news, Chris.  Seems like there iis nothing more upsetting than to have a child arrested for some sort of wrong doing.  Back when my oldest boys were getting into so much trouble, I sued to dread hearing tghe telepphone ring late at night, but this may help her to deal with a substance abuse problem a lot sooner.  This is just something that many parents have to deal with.  So I hope you don't beat up on yourself too badly.  I always thought my oldest boys were affected a lot more by growing up around male alcoholic family members including their dad and granddad.  I vowed to stop allowing alcoholics to come into my home and affect them, with the younger ones.  I did not want them to ever see abuse done to me or them by alcoholics.  I succeeded in doing this the most with the youngest one, so for that or whatever reason he did not abuse any substance while he was going to high school, but he found out when he went in the navy and joned his drinking buddies that he could get in trouble with alcohol if he drank enough just like the rest of them.  Gerry

queenb8261 said...

Oh Chris. Doggone it. Why do they always seem to have to learn the hard way? MY heart goes out to you. And Thank God no one was hurt physically. I'm praying for you guys. We love ya & are here for you.
Hugs, Barb  

shayshaydc said...

Chris... you haven't done anything wrong.... sometimes kids are pressured to do things that they normally wouldn't do!!!! I think that the peer pressure now days is a lot worse than when we were their age!!!! Hopefully she will learn from this and will not do it again!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I am glad no one was hurt and she is safe...i do hope that she learns something from this...but most of all that she is safe and no one was hurt i am thankful! i am sure you are going crazy...as i know I would!  Hugs,TerryAnn

am4039 said...

I'm so sorry for this. You did nothing wrong. I'm going through my Becky with her drugs. I have felt the same way. What did I do wrong. Becky is 16 and I hope she is ok. She is doing much better. I'll be praying for your daughter. It's so hard.