Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Betrayal

Betrayal....what an ugly word.  Deception causes betrayal.  Boy, when you realize the knife was stuck in the back, it's a killer.  I've always been loyal and lead my life free of agendas....at least agendas that will cause pain and strife to others.

I hesitate to discuss my place of employment.  Right now, I really don't care. 

First, my BF walked out yesterday after 38 years handing in his retirement papers.  Ultimate betrayal.  This man has devoted his life to serving veterans, of which he is one (he served in Vietnam; his brother was killed in Vietnam).  He has had a hugely successful career, being recognized by our Central Office quite frequently.  His problem is he is retirement age and has the years in.  His major problem in the eyes of management was that he was still there past retirement age and time.  Many are going through this.

In his frustration, anger, etc., he told me something I knew in my heart but did not want to hear.  He knew exactly why I didn't get the promotion a couple of months ago.  My supervisor sat in a room and totally destroyed me to the new managers.  Said I was disorganized, needed supervision for everything, was not capable of performing the job up for promotion, etc.  None of this is true at all.  Her agenda....there would be no one that could replace me.  I've had many helpers who can't cut it or learn what I do.  How does one look themselves in the mirror each morning after they lie about somebody's performance?  How do they come into work day after day and implore this person to help them with things they don't know but should know as a supervisor?  And, how do I handle this?  I am dying again inside.  I've bent over backwards and taken on far more than I should because no one else seems to be able to grasp it.  I'm so ready to just shut down and do only what is expected of my grade level.

I'm praying fervently about this.  I will never, ever get promoted as long as I have the same supervisor and the same managers remain.  The damage is done.  There is a VA hospital two miles from my house.  I'm planning on checking into a lateral position at the same grade to get my foot in that door and my butt out of the old one.  The time has come to remove myself also from this cesspool.  I'm struggling with why the Lord let this happen although I realize He is not responsible for the free will of others.  I'm struggling with bitterness again.  I'm struggling with going into work tomorrow and keeping my mouth shut.  Someday, somehow, the right words will come out in just the right way.  This person will at least know that nothing is sacred and everybody finds out eventually what has been said.  I wil forgive but not forget.

Thanks for listening......CHRIS

20 comments:

riverdaughter196 said...

Your right, the Lord is not responsible.  People have free will to make the choices that they make.  Some people use that free will to hurt others.  But God can open doors that no one else can.  

blondepennierae said...

This entry really tore me up when I read it.  I worked for a Manager that once told me he would see me carried out on a stretcher before he ever let me leave him.  I was as frantic about the situation as you are.  I worked for a very large company that had a Mental Health area.  I went there and said that I was worried that I was going to have emotional problems if I couldn't get out of that area.  They conducted an investigation.  The conclusion?  It was decided that the Manager didn't belong in a position where he had authority over people ... he got a huge PROMOTION.  It did take him far enough away from direct authority so I was able to run as fast as I could to another position.  Situations such as yours make the work place so unhappy.  I wish I could do something for you or give you some magic words.  But the best I can do is send you all the positive thought and energy and prayers that I can muster.  I pray that there is a solution for you.  Love, Pennie

tpiez4me said...

Grrrrrrrr....I hate 2 facers....and I know God doesn't want us to hate, but Grrrrrrrrrrrr.  And you just wanna jack slap them when you see them again, BUT we must smile that 'in your face' smile and call them 'dear' and hope it eats away at their very soul.  Ooops, was I sounding a bit unforgiving myself???  Been there myself in my current job...I just have to remember the source and keep my P's n Q's in order as usual...plus clean up her mess LOL!!!
Sharon -

dwhee70041 said...

Chris, Maybe it's time to move on.  Fortunately, when I was faced with the same situation, my supervisor was relieved of his position.  Mine was not a government position thought.  There is something to be said for free enterprise.  I know that what ever you decide to do, you can walk away with your head held high.  Take care of business first, remember, never make a business decision on an emotion.  David

jckfrstross said...

oh my i am so sorry that you were betrayed. How much sick and vacation time do you have? start using it to find another job. Get out of there fast because it will only get worse. You are a bright and smart person God closes one door and opens another i do believe that and i have seen it happen over and over again. Praying for you Chris

Deb

chat2missie said...

Such a terrible betrayal.  It would be very hard for me to keep my mouth shut.
Missie

pennietoonz said...

Oh Chris... I am so sorry to hear this. I have worked for people like this before also....who would not promote people because she would lose them from her own department! I can`t stand mean, selfish people. Think things through and pray about it. You know I`m here if you need to talk.
Love you,
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace

pennietoonz said...

PS.... Wow! That sidebar is so cool! Your journal looks stunning!
Love,
pen
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace

debbiewebb4465 said...

Chris I'm so sorry you've had this done to you. You really don't deserve such awful treatment.  Take some time to think it out when you've calmed down a bit but maybe this is a sign to start looking at the other hospital, or anywhere, at their vacancies. I'm sorry for your BF too. Thinking of you, take care mate
BIG (((HUGS))) ~x Debbie x~

http://journals.aol.com/debbiewebb4465/TheLifeTimesofanEssexGirl

nightmaremom said...

Oh that just sucks.  You work your ass off and that's what you get while others do crap... and... well.... Damn I'm sorry Chris.. hugs to you
d

http://journals.aol.com/nightmaremom/Thisandthatandhockey/

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Chris....I can really relate to this entry in alot of ways....
We have tons of trouble out of supervisors and higher ups...
They ALL stick together....anything we say or do is out of the
question ~ their way is the ONLY way....I too would like to find
something else in time!  I'm sorry your having to go through this....
just know your not alone.... and together with God by our side...
the future is bound to be brighter....keep the faith =)
Hugss..~Terri~

njmom72 said...

Oh sweetie, you sound like you're working in a place just like where I used to work about five years ago. They didn't care about their employees, and no one could do my job better than me but my supervisor had it in for me for some unknown reason, and because of that I never got promoted in the ten years I worked there. Life is too short to waste it at a job you hate, especially one that treats you so atrociously. Don't forget that part of the Bible where it says "what you do in the dark shall be seen in the light"....that supervisor of yours will get what's coming to them one day.

~ Susan
http://journals.aol.com/njmom72/TheStrawberryPatch

queeniemart said...

Part of whats wrong with me is my job and things that are happening. I am so damn sorry Chris and i am crying just thinking about how someone could lie about you and hurt you so.  I know how much it hurts you and you do not deserve it at all.   I am sorry also for what was done to your BF.  

Love,lisa

shayshaydc said...

I think that is a great idea to check and see about a job at the VA hospital!!! Some people just think of themselves instead of others!!! Your supervisor will eventually be found out!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

kdcutie26 said...

That is AWFUL!  I am so mad at those people.  I don't even know you personally, and I would promote you for the love of God.  What on God's green earth are these people thinking?!?!?!?!?!?  People can be so RUDE.  They are on my ick list that's for sure.  I love you Chris.  Your the best.
KJ

lv2trnscrb said...

(((Chris))) I'm so sorry for your pain. First of all, I think your BF should have kept that info to himself, but that's another matter. Your supervisor is going to have to account for her actions/words to the Lord; that's reassuring to know. You too; so whatever you do, do it with honor and integrity. Search for another job; I think its time to move on

betty

am4039 said...

I am so sorry, You really need to leave there. No one deserves to be treated like that. I will be praying for you.

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I am sorry for you day....Some times to grow you gotta go...I will keep you in my prayers that you will find the right job....Hugs my friend....TerryAnn.

xxroxymamaxx said...

I'm sorry Chris that you have deal with a person or persons like that.  I like what you said though "I'm struggling with why the Lord let this happen although I realize He is not responsible for the free will of others." That is so true.  Prayers and hugs for you.  And good for you going to the other hospital.  You're due for something really awesome! : )  GBU, Shelly

queenb8261 said...

So sorry to hear about the trouble at your jobs.  Hopefully it will all work out the way it is supposed to.  Will keep you in my thoughts.  
Barb