A Long Week

Wow, is it only Tuesday?  It's been such a long, draining day or two.  The church service was very nice.  I don't think it would be the church for me.  It's located in one of the new trendy areas of Pittsburgh, the South Side, where college students and young adults live, party and carry on.  This ministry is needed and is reaching out to those young ones.  There were a handful of people my age, and I didn't feel out of place.  I can see that this is moving Becky and perfect for her.  There are activities scheduled on weekends and evenings.  She went to a picnic on Saturday with the church at a local park.  I am going to attend with her for a while because I feel she needs me there.  Of course, I cried through the whole thing almost, as did she, and could almost feel her heart opening.

As a leap of faith, I threw my last $50 in the offering plate.  Becky sort of flipped.  I used to do this all the time and always had more than enough money to live on.  LOL..now I'm sitting back waiting for the ten fold to arrive.  It's not really funny.  This used to be the way I lived, on faith.  It's still there somewhere.

I'm flipping a little bit because I've used so much of my nest egg on cars this month.  I get fearful when this happens.  I keep asking myself why I'm fretting so much.  I love my job now but I made more money at my old job with my OT.  I have to learn to be patient because the next increase in a year should be much larger.

I'm just totally confused right now because I have a feeling that Becky wants and needs me to live closer to her now that she will be starting grad school.  But Allegheny County is far more expensive to live in than where I live now.

What to do?  My mind is spinning.  For some reason, my heart feels heavy and shouldn't.  The old "hole" in the back yard is calling me again.  Sometimes, I really just want to run away and hide.  More so lately than in years.

As I said, the job is going great but I'm getting fatter coz I'm on my rearend all day. Then my BF was at the bus stop waiting to take me out to dinner...that really helps the flub.   ROFL at myself.  I sound like I have PMS but those days are gone for this old bat.

My compressor is here for my AC.  Sears is coming on Monday morning.  Please, please pray for sun so I can get in my pool.  I think if the weather is supposed to be nice, I'm taking two days of vacation.  I really don't have the money to go anywhere this year and I have plenty of vacation time.

OK, enough rambling.  Joey will be home tonight or tomrrow.  He seems to be having a ball so I hope he is happier when he gets back.

I'm done whining for the moment.  The dog needs to be fed, and it's garbage night again.  I'm two days behind on journals.  Actually, I did read them last night but wanted to read as many as I could so I didn't comment.  I swear I'll catch up.

I hear Calgon, take me away calling me.........

 

CHRIS