Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A Long Week

Wow, is it only Tuesday?  It's been such a long, draining day or two.  The church service was very nice.  I don't think it would be the church for me.  It's located in one of the new trendy areas of Pittsburgh, the South Side, where college students and young adults live, party and carry on.  This ministry is needed and is reaching out to those young ones.  There were a handful of people my age, and I didn't feel out of place.  I can see that this is moving Becky and perfect for her.  There are activities scheduled on weekends and evenings.  She went to a picnic on Saturday with the church at a local park.  I am going to attend with her for a while because I feel she needs me there.  Of course, I cried through the whole thing almost, as did she, and could almost feel her heart opening.

As a leap of faith, I threw my last $50 in the offering plate.  Becky sort of flipped.  I used to do this all the time and always had more than enough money to live on.  LOL..now I'm sitting back waiting for the ten fold to arrive.  It's not really funny.  This used to be the way I lived, on faith.  It's still there somewhere.

I'm flipping a little bit because I've used so much of my nest egg on cars this month.  I get fearful when this happens.  I keep asking myself why I'm fretting so much.  I love my job now but I made more money at my old job with my OT.  I have to learn to be patient because the next increase in a year should be much larger.

I'm just totally confused right now because I have a feeling that Becky wants and needs me to live closer to her now that she will be starting grad school.  But Allegheny County is far more expensive to live in than where I live now.

What to do?  My mind is spinning.  For some reason, my heart feels heavy and shouldn't.  The old "hole" in the back yard is calling me again.  Sometimes, I really just want to run away and hide.  More so lately than in years.

As I said, the job is going great but I'm getting fatter coz I'm on my rearend all day. Then my BF was at the bus stop waiting to take me out to dinner...that really helps the flub.   ROFL at myself.  I sound like I have PMS but those days are gone for this old bat.

My compressor is here for my AC.  Sears is coming on Monday morning.  Please, please pray for sun so I can get in my pool.  I think if the weather is supposed to be nice, I'm taking two days of vacation.  I really don't have the money to go anywhere this year and I have plenty of vacation time.

OK, enough rambling.  Joey will be home tonight or tomrrow.  He seems to be having a ball so I hope he is happier when he gets back.

I'm done whining for the moment.  The dog needs to be fed, and it's garbage night again.  I'm two days behind on journals.  Actually, I did read them last night but wanted to read as many as I could so I didn't comment.  I swear I'll catch up.

I hear Calgon, take me away calling me.........

 

CHRIS

17 comments:

pennietoonz said...

Chris, I`m glad the church turned out well.  Going to a good, Bible based church is so important.
You just hang in there at work. It`s a better position for you, and as you said, when you get that next pay increase, things should flow easier.
Hey, you didn`t look like an old bat when I saw you. I thought you looked great! :0)
Hugs,
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace

bmorrrick said...

Hi Chris,

I'm sorry you're overwhelmed with all that is going on.  Guess we all have those times in our life, but it doesn't make it any easier, huh?  I hope you can take a couple of days off for vacation, and just relax....and hopefully get to swim.  I'm glad you enjoyed going to church, I know I always feel better when I go!

Take Care,
~Bilinda~

queeniemart said...

i hate it that you feel this way.....of course i understand completely. You are so beautiful and are not fat....and i know all about the $$ worries. Wish i had words of wisdom but i dont. Just know i love ya.
lisa

shayshaydc said...

Glad you like your job!!! I understand about getting behind on reading journals... seems like I stay behind!!!! LOL..... Hope you get to get in the pool!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

kdcutie26 said...

I am happy that Becky has found something that she believes strongly in and can relate to...good for her.  I hope that you start to feel better Chris.  I am sad when you're sad.  Cheer up buttercup...cause we all love you.
KJ

lv2trnscrb said...

(((Chris))) I have cried through many a church service myself. Remember the story of the widow in the Bible who gave all she had? The Lord will surely bless you. Good for you for being there for Becky to attend church in this crucial time of her life.

betty

jeadie05 said...

Iknow exactly what you mean by giving to the church and it being returned ,I'm a great believer in the lord will provide , I've had it proved to me so many times ....Jan xx

xomywayox said...

It sounds like you just needed to vent some. Worry, it does head over your head like a dark cloud. Awesome tag...


Brenda

chat2missie said...

Hang in there!
Missie

tpiez4me said...

Hate to tell you but Calgon is with Atlantis............

princesssaurora said...

{{{ Chris }}}  It must be hard being away from your daughter... I hope you can figure out a way to work it all out!  Saying a prayer for you...

be well,
Dawn

am4039 said...

I'm happy you like your job a lot. It's so hard living far from the kids. I know those are are rough decisions to make. Good luck with everything. Hugs to you.

helloimkara said...

Im glad that Becky has found a place to go to church.  The way I see it all that I have comes from God.  It's not too much to give some back to help others.  In our church we give 10% of our income as tithes and you know we have always been blessed in more ways that I can count!  The Lord promisses to open the windows of heaven and bless us and he does!  Hang in there.....

Kara :)

oxobagladyoxo said...

Well I am glad you had a nice time spending it with your daughter in chruch. I am sure this heavy weight apon your shoulders will be lifted soon hun. It will be some time before things become  clear for ya, so chin up hun. Take it easy and relax.

Hugs,
Chelle

zoepaul6968 said...

its amazing how everything changes quickly when you least expect it and slowly when you want it to,let me know if you find a happy balance hun I sure as hell havent lol xxzoexx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/DomesticAbuse/

queenb8261 said...

Sorry I am behind. Hope tomorrow is  better day.
I believe that God put on  Earth to accomplish a certain number of things.  Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.  
Love ya , Barb  

mtrib2 said...

That is inspirational of you to have a faith that makes giving a rewarding act.    I am sure you have the blessings of many people.    I am doing better than I was a week ago when I could not even stand up from bed because of my back and struggled to get to my feet.    My lower lumber had a sharp pain that is finally getting better.    Thats all that has been happening with me.    Hope your weekend is a good one.    mark