The above was not made by me. I have no idea who it belongs to but it fits my mood.
It struck me because this child so resembles my Megan when she was small...always in pink; always smiling and bubbly; a hug and a kiss constantly. Where did that little girl go? She's lost in the rage of turning 20 and wanting to travel her own way.
Yesterday was a tough one. A little history: Before I left for Ohio, she was planning a trip to Hilton Head next week with her best hometown girlfriend. She asked if she could take my car. I was hesitant because the car has 97,000 miles on it but reluctantly agreed. She had taken it to Va. Beach and Ocean City previously without incident. I was keeping my fingers crossed that the car would make it there and back.
My BF, Joey and I were going out to dinner last night. (Joey's OVR counselor meeting was a total joke.) Megan was leaving for work. Somehow it was brought up that she would be driving 1,600 miles on Thursday. Joey picked it up. It went over my head. He said something to her. That's when the bombshell was dropped that the plans had changed, and they were going to a friend's place in Naples, Fla. I flipped my lid all through dinner. Megan was gone already so I couldn't discuss it with her.
So, we're talking 3,200 miles round trip in the heat of the south in a car with 97,000 miles on it. I wouldn't do it myself. I was worried about 1,500 miles roundtrip to Hilton Head.
I also thought that Megan was up to something and being deceitful because she said she told Joey and me while we were out at the pool last Saturday. Neither of us remember this at all.
She worked until 1 am so I had time to cool down and think rationally. I told her when she got home that my car was not going to Fla. She was stunned and started crying. I now know she mentioned something in passing last week about maybe having to go to Fla and then she laughed and was off to work. I know, in her mind, that was her way of telling me that is what she was doing. Had she been trying to pull a fast one, she would have been furious, not hysterically crying. Still, no way is she taking my car to Fla.
Ok, so now I'm feeling awful about ruining a vacation but as a mom with the better judgment, that is the way it has to be. There are four of them going. Options are that someone else will provide transportation or they change their plans. It's not pleasant being the spoiler of plans but my main priority is my child's safety. I also can't afford to lose my only semi-dependable car.
Megan simply cannot fathom the difference between pounding my car 750 miles to Hilton Head vs. 1,600 miles to Naples. I can understand that because she just turned 20 on June 8th and has that "nothing will happen to me" attitude. That's what I'm there for. I've been far too liberal with her all along. Much more so than my other two. Then again, she has been the child all along that has pushed the buttons to the limit.
I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall today. I know this whole tornado has not blown over yet. I understand this child of mine because I was very much the same way at that age. The only difference is times were very different when I was that age. We didn't even have the options or the freedom that young ones take for granted today.
I'm in such turmoil over this but will most definitely stick to my guns. I'm used to being "hated" off on and on.
Megan, I love you more than you will ever understand at this point in time, which is exactly why you are going to hate me for a while......
HUGS to all!