Saturday, July 1, 2006

The Pink Princess

The above was not made by me.  I have no idea who it belongs to but it fits my mood.

It struck me because this child so resembles my Megan when she was small...always in pink; always smiling and bubbly; a hug and a kiss constantly.  Where did that little girl go?  She's lost in the rage of turning 20 and wanting to travel her own way.

Yesterday was a tough one.  A little history:  Before I left for Ohio, she was planning a trip to Hilton Head next week with her best hometown girlfriend.  She asked if she could take my car.  I was hesitant because the car has 97,000 miles on it but reluctantly agreed.  She had taken it to Va. Beach and Ocean City previously without incident.  I was keeping my fingers crossed that the car would make it there and back.

My BF, Joey and I were going out to dinner last night.  (Joey's OVR counselor meeting was a total joke.)  Megan was leaving for work.  Somehow it was brought up that she would be driving 1,600 miles on Thursday.  Joey picked it up.  It went over my head.  He said something to her.  That's when the bombshell was dropped that the plans had changed, and they were going to a friend's place in Naples, Fla.  I flipped my lid all through dinner.  Megan was gone already so I couldn't discuss it with her.

So, we're talking 3,200 miles round trip in the heat of the south in a car with 97,000 miles on it.  I wouldn't do it myself.  I was worried about 1,500 miles roundtrip to Hilton Head.

I also thought that Megan was up to something and being deceitful because she said she told Joey and me while we were out at the pool last Saturday.  Neither of us remember this at all.

She worked until 1 am so I had time to cool down and think rationally.  I told her when she got home that my car was not going to Fla.  She was stunned and started crying.  I now know she mentioned something in passing last week about maybe having to go to Fla and then she laughed and was off to work.  I know, in her mind, that was her way of telling me that is what she was doing.  Had she been trying to pull a fast one, she would have been furious, not hysterically crying.  Still, no way is she taking my car to Fla.

Ok, so now I'm feeling awful about ruining a vacation but as a mom with the better judgment, that is the way it has to be.  There are four of them going.  Options are that someone else will provide transportation or they change their plans.  It's not pleasant being the spoiler of plans but my main priority is my child's safety.  I also can't afford to lose my only semi-dependable car.

Megan simply cannot fathom the difference between pounding my car 750 miles to Hilton Head vs. 1,600 miles to Naples.  I can understand that because she just turned 20 on June 8th and has that "nothing will happen to me" attitude.  That's what I'm there for.  I've been far too liberal with her all along.  Much more so than my other two.  Then again, she has been the child all along that has pushed the buttons to the limit.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall today.  I know this whole tornado has not blown over yet.  I understand this child of mine because I was very much the same way at that age.  The only difference is times were very different when I was that age.  We didn't even have the options or the freedom that young ones take for granted today.

I'm in such turmoil over this but will most definitely stick to my guns.  I'm used to being "hated" off on and on.

             Megan, I love you more than you will ever understand at this point in time, which is exactly why you are going to hate me for a while......

HUGS to all!            



sugarsweet056 said...

Just put it in God's hands, try & relax & enjoy the weekend (hard to do, I know).
I'll pray for her & a safe trip.

lanurseprn said...

She'll understand someday.  Meantime, I'll say a prayer for you.  I remember how disappointed I'd have felt.  It's like the END of the WORLD to them!  
I wouldn't let my son go that far either though, I'm afraid.
Hugs to you ....Pamela

queeniemart said...

Oh Chris....

My Megan has a sneaky way at 17 of trying to get what she wants from me and when i say no and mean it, she screams "i hate you" and runs. I want to die when she says that. Since your Megan has 3 other friends, dont sweat it too bad....she is just not wanting to say her car has been taken away but i bet one of the other girls will find a car. It is so hard to be a mom sometimes!!!! She knows you love her.
Hugs and love,lisa

nightmaremom said...

aaawww Chris I know this is hard on all of you, but someday she will understand.

jckfrstross said...

i know how you feel:) it somtimes sucks to be the mom, but down the road she will understand. Hang in there:) did you get your ac changed out ? and how about the pool?


xxroxymamaxx said...

Tough love Chris.  Happens to me all the time too.  Maybe the girls could pull their money together and rent a car.  It's really not that expensive if she shops around.  I hope everything works out for you two.  Thank God mine aren't old enought to drive yet, but it's not too far away. lol  Hugs and GBU, Shelly

P.S.  Thanks for mentioning me in your Friday's theme this week...that was sweet. : )

jeadie05 said...

You must stick to what you know is right ,though its going to be tough ,and lets face it ,if anything went wrong you would never forgive yourself .........Jan xx

chat2missie said...

I'm sure Megan will understand why us moms have to say no when she becomes a mom herself.  Have a good weekend.

pennietoonz said...

Hi Chris... this is a tough dilemma to be in. It`s not easy being the "bad guy " but as parents we have to do what we feel is best for our kids. And it is true, they will appreciate it later on, but it sure is tough going at the time they`re going through it!
Hang in there, honey.

tpiez4me said...

It's hard to use the Tough Love theory, but there is a reason we Mom's have the instinct to say NO to these things.  You done good!  She'll stomp and fret and fume for awhile, and you're right, if they wanna go they'll find the way.  I'm on their way to hilton head, if they get in distress!!!
Sharon –

tendernoggle said...

OHHHHHH...I feel so sorry for you!!!lol...BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT!!! The thing is...if you know in your mind and mother's heart that you are doing what is best for her...then try not to let it bring you down...You may very well be saving her! There will be more times when she can go....and maybe then it will be a different situation and a safer one too....I am gad that you were able to catch it in time!

mtrib2 said...

She seems to be a situation that she thought she could make the trip without being direct about it.    You were only looking out for her best interest.    I read about the guy in the suit that grabbed you and he should be charged with an assault charge.    Take care,    mark

am4039 said...

kids, lol they can drive you crazy. I know it will all work out.

sassydee50 said...

Chris~Kindly see my vacation poem at:

Love, Deb ;-)

sazzylilsmartazz said...

Hope it all works out Chris.