Saturday, August 12, 2006

Thoughts

         

The tag above was made by Diama/Cherry Chocolate Cherried Creations.  LOL...yep it looks just like me.  Herein, though, lies the struggle I sometimes face.  Well, more than sometimes.  I like SAC (some adult content) tags and such that are in good taste.  But does my religion?

I've been pondering my beliefs lately and wonder where to draw the line, what does God think of me, etc.  Pretty heavy stuff to which I know the answers but fight compliance.

My biggest struggle, which I've hesitated so long to even mention and wonder if I should or not or go private for certain things is my BF.  His problem right now is a divorce which is getting uglier by the minute.  He had a court hearing and represented himself with some guidance from his attorney.  It was awful but he won the first round. 

My mind goes round and round.  I was separated for 7 years before mine was final.  I would still be married if my ex hadn't found someone he wanted to marry.  My BF's separation is over 10 years and has escalated over reduction in spousal support since he retired.

Many have asked why we aren't married.  That is one reason but only one.  Will we marry when his divorce is final?  I don't think so.  We've both lived alone for far too many years and have our own ways of doing things which are so totally opposite.  I truly don't think I could live with someone else in my space.  I'm getting very set in my ways, as is he.

So, throw my religious beliefs into the mix and it doesn't gel.  I pray for forgiveness but continue to do what I want forgiven for....make sense? 

LOL...honestly, we've talked of marriage and when I'm able to sell this house when the kids are gone getting an apartment adjoining his.  How's that for insanity? Married with separate spaces.  There is total love, support and commitment between us and has been for years.  But two total opposites who like their own space.

Nuff of that.  My electric meter was leaking water into the breaker box.  The sealing outside had worn from being exposed to the weather and the location on the west side of the house.  The duct seal is only good for 5 years and was pushing 10.  The electrician couldn't believe it lasted that long.  The first two breakers were shot.  My family room and the swimming pool, which explains my pump problems.  Luckily, the first breaker was the familyroom so it was noticed.  If it had been the breaker for the diningroom the leaking would have continued until it hit a breaker that was noticeable.  He closed of the two damaged slots and put new breakers in open slots at the bottom.  I still have three open spots left.  Had I shot more breakers, I would have needed a whole new box.  $80 was the cost....not bad at all.  $60 for the labor and $10 a piece for the new breakers.   He only charged me what he paid for them.  He loaded on the duct seal.  My BF has to get 35 yr electrical caulking at Home Depot and fill in the areas that would allow water in.  Then replace the duct seal so I'll have double protection.  The previous homeowner hadn't caulked it.

I'm very thankful that I called the electrician and caught the problem before it escalated into something far worse.

Oh and Rose and I are definitely getting our own offices...whoo hoo.  We are all going up to the 16th floor next week to take a peek.  The move is scheduled for after Columbus Day now.  I can't wait.  I don't take my lunch very often now because I'm right out in the open space of the reception area and feel weird eating there.  Buying lunches everyday is putting me in the "poor house."

Megan's last day at work is the 19th and then off to her house she is moving.  She is taking my full bed from my room.  I'm moving into her bedroom, the master bedroom, and turning my old little bedroom into a sitting room.  ROFL...it was the baby's room when I bought the house and I still have Disney Babies wallpaper border around the top.  I pulled down so much darned wallpaper in this house over the years that I let mine go.  Well, it's coming down this fall.  I'm buying a daybed or something so if she does decide to come back next summer, there will still be a "guest" bedroom.  Times are a changing around here.

I've been so super busy so I haven't had a chance to visit much.  Last night was dancing night so I'll be around tonight.  Joey is back in Pittsburgh watching the Steeler game and Megan has to work so I'll have a nice, quiet evening to myself.

Gotta run...my chef, Megan, barbecued some center cut pork chops on the grill and steamed some cauliflower.  Yum, that girl can cook.  Oooo, I just peeped in the kitchen, and she has cheesy potatoes in the oven.  Now I really gotta go......Later!!!!

                 Isn't this siggy just the cutest?  We have a new budding PSP creator, Missie. Missie's Upside Down World  I just fell in love with her siggy tag and being the "shy" one I am (hehehehe), I begged her to tag one for me.  HUGS Missie! 

21 comments:

jeadie05 said...

Sounds good each having their own space ,but together .What a good thing you discovered the thing with the water .....Jan xx

lanurseprn said...

Personally, I like the tamer graphics.  I like the ones that depict a more "glamourous" type of lady on them. Or the cutsy ones.  Sexy ones...well....maybe for use in a personal letter or something but I doubt I'd use them much for my journal.
I totally understand about your feelings on having your own space.  I'm not sure I want someone with me 24/7 anymore, either.  I know we're not the only ones who feel this way, either.
Have a good weekend.
Pam

mmartinez07 said...

Chris, I'm not sure how much of my journal you've read, but I've been married for 20 yrs, and the first 15 were perfect. We are still together and we plan on staying together, however if I could buy the house next to ours so we would live apart, yet be close, I would do it in a heartbeat. We both suffer from OCD, and at times we can't stand being around each other, and he gets in my space and in my things. As adults, our personal space and comfort is very important to our mental well being. Lets face it, we all change as we get older and our likes/dislikes also change. If you and your BF are happy in your own space, then don't change that. It would be the biggest mistake and then that's where resentment starts to set in and it kills the relationship. Do what's right FOR YOU! I'm here if you need to talk.

{{{HUGGIES}}} ~ Mandy~

jckfrstross said...

have a good weekend

Deb

jeanno43 said...

Afraid I have to agree with a previous commentor about the graphic. Certainly not my cup of tea, more something for a personal email but it is your journal and you are free to post what you like.  I think you are sensible deciding to stay together and yet have your separate space.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

imgr8phil said...

I totally understand all that you had to say about divorce and marriage.  Do what you think is best in life and don't allow others to decide for you.  I do like the tag by the way . . . what man wouldn't? LOL  Have a good weekend.

Phil

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Hey Chris!!

"I pray for forgiveness but continue to do what I want forgiven for....make sense?"  

Of course it does Chris....I think many of us feel the exact same way...and struggle with asking for forgiveness for things we continue to do....life is so hard isn't it.....Thankfully the Lord is very forgiving...

Your dinner/supper....sounds delish...sounds like you taught her well...hehe
Have a great weekend...

Hugss..~Terri~


jlocorriere05 said...

I agree about having your own space. I've been with Andy for over twent years now but we have separate homes and that's the way we'll stay! I like to wake up in my own time in the morning and come and go as I please without being answerable to anyone. I'm glad you found the leak before too much damage was caused. Have a great weekend! Jeannette xx  

lv2trnscrb said...

Chris; I'm glad you mentioned the thing about the tag, wondering how it would look in the Lord's eyes. I have some thoughts about that and will probably email them to you and see what you think.

As far as your boyfriend situation, I think I better email those to you too. But give me time if I don't get right back to you; next few days are busy ones.

glad you got the water problem figured out before more serious lasting damages happened.

dinner sounds delicious :)

betty

queenb8261 said...

I don't think there is anything thing wrong with having an adult content tag.  God made you a sexual creature and you're not portraying anything vulgar as far as I'm concerned.   I LOVE the one at the bottom with dice. We have pink  fuzzy dice in our 55 tbird.  I'm sorry you're going through such a dilemma.  It will all work out.  Keep the faith.
Hugs, Barb  

xxroxymamaxx said...

Don't worry Chris, we all struggle with our sins and how to justify them.  You don't, you just ask for forgiveness and have faith.  We are all sinners no matter how you look at it.  And we really don't know what is right and wrong in the Lords eyes.  All we can do is try to do right.  I know this might not make you feel better about it, but it is the truth and thank goodness, He is a forgiving God. : )  And I need a Megan around here to cook for ME!  lol  I hate cooking and cleaning it all up everynight! Hugs and GBU, Shelly

candlejmr said...

My daughter (she'll be 18 in 2 weeks) and I have been having alot of religious conversations lately.  We are Catholic.  But, did you ever notice those Catholics who HAVE to get to church....only to come out and be mean people?  What's that all about??  My feeling is that God wants us to be a good person.  Love others, love ourselves, do nice things for people, help people when you can, be a good role model, be a positive person, look for the good in others.  All the rest of that stuff???  Well, maybe I'll go to hell when I die, but I just don't think it's all that important!  Sure, I may be all messed up, but I just think that people do things in the name of their RELIGION and half the time they don't practice what they preach!

Just my opinion....(lol)

((hugs))
Jeanne
http://journals.aol.com/candlejmr/AJourneytoaNewMe/

queeniemart said...

Missed you this week....glad to know things are relatively calm for you.....i hope BF gets thru this divorce in one piece....been there, done that...divorce sucks.
I am so glad you have found a good man to love....i think the adjoining apts is a cute idea. So glad you got the breaker box fixed too.
Wow, i love pork chops. Hope you had a good dinner.
LOVE YOU,
lisa

kdcutie26 said...

I love both the tags, but the top one really appeals to me because Spike's race number is 13s, and we always are talking about lucky 13 and stuff, fits right in.  I am sorry to hear about your BF's issues, I can only imagine.  Love and miss ya Miss Chris...KJ

am4039 said...

I love the tags. Wish I looked like that too. There is nothing wrong with not getting married. After so many years you get used to your own space. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you two are happy that's what counts. Megans dinner sounded so good. Happy that girl can cook. Yum. Good luck with her moving. Hopefully is divorce will be final someday.

shermeen0621 said...

I think that's a really pretty tag and clearly a lot of work went into it. But its not really my thing, i think it is just a little too racy for me. Gosh, I'm a prude at 21. something must have gone wrong somewhere! lol!

My mum is the same, she turned 51 this year (shh, i'm giving away her age) but she never plans to get married. Never has. Its really never been her thing and like you, enjoys having her own space. I think it would be such a shock to the system after all this time.
I'm sorry to hear that your BF is going through such a difficult divorce. They rarely are pleasant.

Shermeen xx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/shermeen0621/PublicThoughts/

ally123130585918 said...

Chris I love both your tags ~ arn't they just so clever to be able to do them ~ Hope you B/F divorce gets settled ~ glad he won the first round and hope he continues to win ~ Good idea married with separate apartments ~ have your own space and company when you want it ~ best of both worlds ~ glad you got the electrician in to fix the breaker problem always best to leave it to the experts ~ Ally

xomywayox said...

Yup, it's time to let go of them Disney babies border. LoL I see you r point and issue with your boyfriend. Here's my 2, if it ain't broke, don't fix. Be at peace my friend.

brenda

chat2missie said...

Thanks for mentioning me in your journal!!
Missie

helloimkara said...

It is one of the hardest lessons in life. God gave us our freeagency to choose what we will and will not do.  But with those choices come consequences, both positive and negative.  Sometimes doing what you believe in your heart is right is not always easy, but it is the only way to have peace.  Make of that what you will, but it is something I personally try and live by and it has helped me make many a tough decisions!  I just love you Chris! You have a heart of gold!!!

Big hugs!!!
Kara :)

princesssaurora said...

I don't think it is strange at all that you want your own space.  I think it is great that you and your bf know yourselves that well.  Good for you both, no need to marry at this point in your lives, you are in a committed relationship and it works for each of you...nuff said.

you are in my prayers...

be well,
Dawn