ABC's

This is Alphabetical, Describe yourself TAG.  What does each letter in the alphabet say about you?  Come up with the right word and Tag your Friends.

LOL...thanks to all who tagged me on this one but actually I think it's sort of cute.

A.  Annoying

B.  Batty

C.  Christian/Chris

D.  Dorky

E.  Eclectic

F.  Fanciful

G.  Giving

H.  Hefty

I.  Informed

J.  Just me

K.  Kind

L.  Love My Kids 

M.  Menopausal (LOL..if Penny can get away with her comment, so can I.)

N.  Nosy

O.  Overly excitable

P.  PSP addict

Q.  Quick to forgive

R.  Rarely patient

S.  Strong Single Mom

T.  Tired

U.  Underpaid/underappreciated

V.  Vivacious

W.  Witty

X.  Xtra special

Y.  Young at Heat

Z.  Zealous

Ok....LOL...at Deb's insistence...Betty, you are officially tagged and anybody else who wants to do this.........

LOL...and I just want to add....THAT IS NOT AN ORB IN MY PICTURE!  F. is for fanciful which I definitely am.....I had to go into my Kodak program and pull up the blown up picture so I could study it before I did a whole-house exorcism.  On the larger picture, the same circle is in the middle of the mirror.  I was at an angle so I wouldn't flash on the mirror.  Now you know it bounced off the mirror and reflected on the wall....I'm tellin ya...LOL

 

                                         tagged by Christy from my PSP group for me...... 

Scavenger Hunt #59 Mirror

Well, I did it!  Sheesh...I think I'm getting sick again.  Went to Walmart and didn't I forget the darned batteries for my camera. I had such a bad headache and felt sort of like throwing up.  Not a good sign.  

I need some rechargeables quick.  Anyway, I dug through the junk drawer and found a couple of batteries that held up long enough to take this pic and download it.  This is Megan's vanity in her bedroom (of course, Mocha, the kitty, thinks it's "her" room).  I managed to avoid the flash in the mirror but I think the white circle on the wall in the hallway in the background is a flash spot coz I certainly don't have a smoke alarm or anything smack dab in the middle of the wall.    LOL...there is a Walmart bag on the hallway floor though...oh well...it's gone now.  I was putting toothpaste in the bathroom before I took the picture and don't ya know it would show up.  I couldn't successfully crop it out.  So, there you go....my mirror picture.

 

                 CHRIS

Thoughts

I'm not feeling lost but thought that graphic was so cute.  I went into my old graphics in my pictures because I'm sort of PSP'd out right now.  LOL....though actually sometimes I feel completely frustrated to I guess I am lost.

One thing that was bugging me was my side bar...yeah, the silly little small stuff.  I can't stand when my journal gets all out of whack so I had to redesign it....again.

AOL is not cooperating today...surprised?  I've noticed a lot of people having some big, big problems lately with mailboxes and losing things.  Knock on wood...I was lucky.  AOL popped up an autofix.  My file manager was totally uncooperative, which makes me, once again, consider photobucket but I'm the old dog that just hates new tricks.

I should organize my PSP graphic stuff into folders but hesitate because I lost a couple of folders recently.

Well, enough of that...Steeler frenzy has totally hit the "Burgh."  Vender's tents are popping up at every intersection and can't keep anything in stock.  Pgh is in severe financial difficulty so this is probably a very good thing for the City.  I now own two Steeler sweatshirts.  Never bought any because 1.  my son is superstitious and 2.  I just would rather spend my money on other clothes.  What a fan, hunh?  But it is exciting.  They had a pep rally Friday evening.  I didn't stay in town because I would have gotten home too late and had to work Sat. but over 30,000 people showed up at Heinz Field...amazing.

Now, my next frustration is the scavenger hunt.  I did have the perfect "mirror" but then I remembered that Becky scoffed it up last year.  I'm gonna be totally late on this one, Betty.

So, my last decision is dinner tonight and what to make.  I made stuffed peppers the other night which my son devoured.  Pgh is a treasure chest of ethnic cooking.  My dad was Czech and my MIL is also.  She makes stuffed cabbage with meatloaf mix, tomato sauce and sauerkraut...the Slovak version.  I never cared for my mother's with ground beef and tomato soup but fell in love with my MIL's (should say ex-MIL).  I make my stuffed peppers that way (my kids love peppers) on top of the stove.  The meat is so much softer when you use meatloaf mix.  The sauerkraut gives the sauce some zip.  I have to run to my Walmart Supercenter (lol, Deb and Penny coz they love Walmart).  Maybe something will strike me when I get there.  Yeah, like another Steeler shirt.  I'm actually in the mood for some homemade chicken noodle soup.  Joey will be happy with anything he can throw on the grill. 

These are my this and that tidbits for today.  Nothing extreme, which is good...just another day in the life....a quiet one.  Joey is back in Pgh visiting friends.  Boy, do I love these quiet times.

Take care all....I do have one graphic I made the other day.  I have such problems making cutsie ones.  But I'm working on it.....

 

                          

                                              CHRIS

Better Days

Yesterday was a downer.  I think mainly because of my BF's remarks and critical attitude.  It kept going through my mind that in one breath he was saying how much we have gone through and endured together and in the next breath said something to the effect that because of our differences he could never live in the same household as me.  It was like a dagger to my heart and done on the phone because he was ill at home with a sinus infection.

I said nothing then or in the evening.  I said nothing on the bus.  In fact, I said nothing until lunch.  I've decided to think things through before I blurt things out....sort of a new attitude of decorum I've reached.

He took me to get to a sub shop for some great subs for lunch.  I had his spare keys for the car that needed the muffler repair (which is being done correctly at no cost).  I gave him the keys.  He said something about wondering when I was going to remember to give them back.  Of course, he was sick the day before, which was my response.  He said something about it being lunch already.  BINGO....I just smiled and asked him if he thought I was so disorganized that I would lose his spare keys.  ROFL...thought the boy was going to choke to death.  He turned beet red and absolutely gagged.  Sure did get my point.

Long story short....he spent the rest of the day kissing my keister.  I didn't act angry nor was I angry.  Must have been guilt kicking in for cruel words which weren't really meant.  He bought me a Steeler sweatshirt, a single rose and a little box of Roche chocolates at break time and brought them back...can we say guilt complex?

People often ask if we will ever marry?  I don't know.  We've both been on our own for over 10 years.  I've become quite independent.  Financially, it would be a lifesaver but that's not a reason for marriage.  He is the love of my life...my soulmate.  I want him in my life for the rest of it....just not so sure about in my house...lol....I suggested a duplex when my kids are grown and gone.

I'm off to read journals.  I'm working OT again tomorrow because I need the money so I best get my old keister in gear.

Thank you all for your comments.  I see that many were very fussy when younger but have come to realize that we all need time to smell the roses.  The house will continue to get messy no matter what.  Love you all!

                     CHRIS

Expectations

I wasn't going to do an entry tonight because I'm feeling quiet/sad.  I don't like when others have expectations of me that I can't fulfill.

My mother always expected me to be a "minnie me" of her.  She was outspoken and domineering.  I was timid, quiet, very sensitive.  I had a lot of friends as I was always outgoing that way but I lived in fear of any type of change.

When we were kids, my brother and I couldn't move in our house; no sitting on the couch, eating snacks in the livingroom; etc.  My mother followed us around constantly and made us pick things up as soon as they were set down.  She was a total neat freak.

I was always disorganized, scatterbrained, right hand never knew what the left hand was doing.  Still am, sort of.  Of course, it drove my mother crazy.  She would clean and reorganize my room, and I could never find a thing afterwards.  I resented it every time.

My biggest resentment was when I was around 12.  She "surprised" me one day by changing my room drastically.  I loved purple and pink.  I came home to a blue room with frilly curtains and bedspread to match and the ugliest blue shag carpet, which was the rage in the late 60's.  I was furious and didn't sleep in my room for months.

I am of the belief that there are two types of people in the world of organization....those that get it and are; those that are hopelessly disorganized.  I fall into the second category.  I still swear it has to do with spatial reasoning.  Math and science whizzes have brains that see things spatially.  People who excel in writing and English don't have a clue.  Of course, there are exceptions.

Then there's my anally organized, accountant BF.  Everything always where it should be.  Nothing is set down haphazardly.  I drive him nuts because I set stuff down without thinking and then spend so much wasted time looking for it.  That's just me.  Most times he will laugh but every once in a while makes some snide remark that cuts to the soul; like today.  So, I'll brush it off but all the remarks remain deep inside and resurface when another occasion arises and something is said.  I could make comments that I think sometimes he is over-the-edge obsessively organized but don't.  I accept him for who he is.  Why don't others, he included, accept me for my uniqueness?

I've made it my point in life not to make judgments.  We all excel at one thing or another.  That's what makes us unique individuals.  Why do some feel that everyone should live their lives in the way that they choose to live theirs?  I've also made it a very big point to allow my children space to be their own people.  They've all decorated their bedrooms any way they want.  My house is a home; one that all can feel comfortable in without being afraid to move lest they upset the order.  It's not always spotless but even when it is, it doesn't stay that way for long.  But one thing my home has which I rarely had when I grew up is the sound of laughter (and the bark of a dog or meow of a cat).

                                CHRIS

Dog Day Tues

Not the best picture coz my batteries were 3/4 dead.  Couldn't even edit too well.  Grizzly is awake.  This is part of my backyard.  We have about 1/4 of an acre of protected woods so the deer romp and the wildlife is beautiful.  Hope to get some pics of those.  That my Christmas tree in the backgound.

It's usually really pretty in the spring and summer because I dump all my wild flower clippings back there.  LOL...sometimes they grow far prettier in the woods than in my garden.  I just love looking out my backdoor to this.  What a difference from my former "burb" life.  It's definitely worth the commute to work.

The snow is really falling here.  Joey has a doctor's appt. at 2 in Pgh.  We are 50 miles north so we get snow although they may be getting freezing rain south of us.  Have to keep an eye on this.

Grizzly did get away from me....panic time because it was almost garbage pickup.  My baby is not the least bit street smart.  Used some old mama's reverse psychology on him.  Instead of chasing him, I walked away.  LOL..confused him, and he actually came running back.  This will only work a couple of times until the smarty catches on. 

I've gone back through my archives...wish I could find Grizzly's story but I can't.  Joey had begged me for a dog for a year after his father was out of the house.  No way....then friends of ours who own Big Griz, Grizzly's father, had puppies with a dog down the street.  Big Griz was a gentle giant so I agreed on the spot when Joey called me at work.  He was shocked.  Laura, Big Griz's mom and a dear friend from Pgh, called me a week later to ask me if I wanted to know Grizzly's bday.  Sure why not....goosebumps....March 6th...my dad's bday.  Joey still insists that Grizzly is a gift from his beloved grandpa; surrogate father.  I have to agree.

 

                     

My Reflections

A quiet evening it has been after a relatively quiet day at work.  Joey is sleeping.  I'm not sure what he did about Jiffy Lube.  That is up to him.  I support whatever decision he makes.

We had a birthday lunch at a Chinese place today for one of our longtime friends.  Her birthday is actually on Thurs but one girl only works part-time so we went today.  It's always fun to have lunch with dear Katie. 

I caught up on journals.  It's nice to be able to leisurely do this and know I can stay up a little later tonight since my day off is tomorrow.  Terry Ann, I just love your entry tonight.  It made me reflect back to my journal beginnings in October of 2005.  I had just bought this new computer.  My old one was six years old.  I could barely connect to AOL on it.  The new one was so much faster even with dial up and had a gig of memory (Thank the Lord coz I'm sure going to need it.)  I'm not sure why I even started a journal.  I have a friend that does a once-a-week, small town newspaper article about his family, etc.  Really witty.  I thought it would be fun to write about my chaotic life.  I really never anticipated that anyone would read it or even care to.  I did it on a whim.

It's turned into an amazing journey.  I swear some of the most wonderful people walk through J-Land.

My first desire was to add graphics.  I had no idea where to even find a graphic, let alone use the file manager and add them.  Enter Missy who patiently helped me.  It took me three weeks...lol.  Penny and I both struggled with this together.  And Shelly....God Bless Shelly who so graciously permitted us all to snag her awesome graphics and sent me PSP 7.  She also provided the tutorial to make a basic graphic and then layer them.  She sent me PSP 9.  Took 10 hrs. with dial up.

Then came Deb and Betty around the same time.  Both so full of inspiration.  Betty, I will never, ever forget the prayer that brought peace back to my life once again.  I just had to get a digital camera so I could do scavenger hunts and doggie pictures for Sassy with the beautiful pictures she takes.  And David with his wonderful stories and beautiful pictures.  And somehow, I met the 2nd Missie with her journal and also her Furr Babies.  And Terry Ann, so, so sweet.  Happy Birthday, girl!

And, of course, my Katie Jane and Joyce, who are my Becky's age. My two adopted daughters.  Funny, funny Jeff who made all us girls laugh.  Hope everything works out for him but I sure do miss his crazy, zany comments.  Dear, sweet Kara, who I hope and pray is well on her way to a complete recovery.  Always so happy and kind.

Sharon, golfaholic....so offbeat and upbeat....did you start your new job yet?  You just never know what to expect when you enter Sharon's journal.  Sharon #2, Momma's Drama, we both started at the same time and both struggling single moms.

And where is my Penny girl?  Hope you're ok and just tired from working again.  I always worry when I don't hear from you.

Sheesh.....if I've missed anyone, I apologize.  Let me have it!  I need to look at my sidebar.  I love each and every one of you.  Oops....Terri and Annie and Mari.....how could I ever forget Mari, loving Mari?

One thing about J-Land.  It's always an adventure. Tomorrow may bring a new friend.  Thanks to all of you for being here and sharing this journey!

 

LOL...I think I've finally gotten the sparklie thingys downpat.......

 

                      

Today was just one of those brutally exhausting days; physically and emotionally.  Work was brutal.  Too few people; too much work.  When someone leaves, most times they aren't replaced.  We just suck up the additional work and do the best we can.  Things were slow after my helper left on disability.  I knew it wouldn't last.  The last two weeks have been brutal and no help in sight.  I hate to ask for help but I would take it now if there was anybody to do it.  Everybody I work with is feeling the pressure.  I hate when things get out of control.  It's exhausting beyond belief.

So I came home and played with animation.  LOL..and you are subjected to it.

My car is going back on Wednesday.  The service dept. manager was totally shocked.  He has an asst. manager who inspects all the work before it leaves.  He simply could not believe that the rusted old brackets were welded back on to the new stuff.  He said there were 12-18 new brackets in the kit.  I knew this because I checked it online before I took it down there to get an idea of the cost.  He is going to put it on the rack and check the whole system and have it rectified at no cost since I already paid for the kit and the labor for the job to be done right. 

Joey's car came off the insurance today.  He is planning on giving Jiffy Lube a two week notice tomorrow.  We'll see.....he wants to quit but also wants to save a little more money until his seasonal job at the cemetery starts in the spring.

I'm off to read some journals because I'm super tired.  Take care all and thanks for your wonderful comments.

          

 

   CHRIS

This and That

Of course, Pgh is hopping and jumping right now.  Never expected to see them play so well.  I feel bad for the Bronco's.  New England killed the Steelers last year in the final play off game so I know the feeling.  So much for my son and his superstitions and my buying and wearing my hoodie would be bad luck.  My favorite Steeler's...not that anybody cares....#1.  Jerome Bettis.  Lovely person; never has a bad word to say about anything; took an enormous pay cut two seasons ago when he was injured to continue playing; is from Detroit and would love to end his career with a SuperBowl ring from there; has the cutest Mom in the world.  #2.  Hines Ward...so adorable and really a sweet person; pretty darned good, too.  LOL..and what's up with the scruffy quarterback look?  Jake Plummer and Ben.

Speaking of Joey, he didn't get the job.  He is taking it very well although at first not so well.  The girl left a voice mail message to the effect that his personality was somewhat lacking based on him being quiet.  I didn't think that was quite an appropriate message....uh, where did she get her psychiatric degree from?  I thought a short, brief..."We chose someone more qualified.  Thank you for applying." would have sufficed.  LOL...this was a warehouse job filling orders for restoration parts for old Chevy's...$8.50 an hr.  Joey said I could put this in here.  He did crack me up last night.  He said he didn't get the job because he has the personality of a barn door.  He had my BF and me howling with that one.  Actually, he is very quiet at first but is quite witty once he gets to know someone.  This was not an occupation for him....just something to make some money with until he decides what he wants to do with his life.

My next little rant...LOL...my Christmas present to myself....the dual exhuast muffler....is falling off.  This is my spare car.  I've only put a little over 200 miles on it since the muffler was put on.  They purchased a complete dual exhaust exhaust system (at my expense, of course) but welded the crap to the original rusted brackets on the car.  Boy, my blood was boiling.  I switched from my old mechanic to these guys because the old one was getting sloppy.  The new ones corrected a lot of mistakes the old one created.  Sheesh...now I'll be mechanic shopping again.  My BF is calling them tomorrow.  It's actually his car that he lets me use.  He paid for the front and back brakes for me.  I paid for the dual exhaust system...all $500 worth. 

I'm suffering PSP withdrawal.  I spent too much time yesterday playing around and got very little done around the house.  Here are a couple of valentine's day tags for snag plus the one above.

    

    

Have a great evening all!  Just pulled some ribs off the grill.  I'm thinking of making some kind of cheesy or flavored rice. Joey is on his way home.  He was in Pgh watching the game and is dropping some things off with Megan.

Scavenger Hunt #58 - Warm & Fuzzy

GO STEELERS!!!!!   (Have to add that, you know)  Man, my hair was crazy today...lol...oh well.  I don't know if you can see my warm and fuzzy kitty, Mocha, underneath her Steeler court jester hat.  She wasn't sitting very ladylike so Joey covered her "privates" with the hat.  And, of course, I have my warm and fuzzy black and gold hoodie on, which my son thinks is the kiss of death because he is so superstitious.

(Are ya ready for some football, Deb?  I do feel sorry for Denver folks.  To say Steel City fans are not very genteel is a huge understatement.)   LUV YA BLACK & GOLD!!!!!!!

                     CHRIS

       

A picture says a thousand words....

I couldn't sleep last night so what did I do...LOL...I played with PSP. I think my computer is starting to look like Garfield.  I cleaned and deleted 19,000 files then ran my clean-up program which sounds like a toilet flushing and drives Grizzly nuts.

Then I tackled the basics of animation...adding glitter.  It should be easy but being the computer genius I am, nothing is easy.

Uh oh, the Chevy placed just called looking for Joey.  He will be at work until after 5 today.  She has his cell phone number and will try to get him today.  Boy, I tried to get it out of her what the verdict was but that old privacy kicked in.  I hope she doesn't leave any bad messages.  She seemed very nice so I think she will probably leave him a message to call her.  Pins and needles.....coz I got the impression she was going to call and let him know either way.  Yikes, now I'm really looking like Garfield.

Lord, if anyone needs a break, my son does.  His Mustang is in need of oil seals and a radiator.  It has 190,000 miles on it.  He has only started having problems with it this summer.  Some guy offered him $4.000 for it last week.  It's a 1990 March Madness limited edition.  This guy has a huge estate and a huge Mustang collection.  He will restore it, and it four years it will more than double in price.  I'm not letting that happen.  My son will restore that car some day.  There were only 2,100 made and only about 900 still registered nationwide.  My BF knows this man.  He's a nice guy and offering a fair price but that car was bought with much sweat and tears and three jobs simultaneously.

Since Megan's not home, Joey is driving my Cutlass.  The Mustang will stay in the garage and I'll keep fire and theft on it.

Sorry, I'm really rambling.  I get so much more nervous about things that effect my children.  Becky is down to the final essay that she submitted online last Sunday to be accepted into the Ph.d stipend program at Pitt in microbiology.  My two oldest children; so much grief they've suffered...Lord, please help them to continue to grow in Your love and find much deserved peace of mind......Amen.

            

 

 

 

5 Guilty Pleasure

Miss Katie Jane tagged me to name my 5 guilty pleasures (think I was tagged on this before and forgot to do it.)

1.  PSP addict...lol...I admit it.  Pry me from this computer if you can.

2.  My computer and journaling.  I just love to read journal, add comments, read comments, etc.  I get such pleasure from J-Land.

3.  Good chocolate...love the good stuff.

4.  Fried foods....boy do I love fried foods because they taste good but really avoid them for the most part.

5.  Dark, stout beer, especially on a hot day.

I'll tag anyone who feels like doing this....LOL

Speaking of PSP....I'm putting a couple of snaggables up.  Hope you are able to download them if you want.......

   

 

  

      

 

Taking A Break

The graphic above is made by Donna of D's DesignsD's Designs.

I'm sure many of you know D because I see her graphics all over J-Land.  She generously tags them and puts graphics in her regular journal to snag also.  When I say I'm budding, I really am.

I tackled glitter and sparkles again for the umpteenth time and can't get them to animate.  I've tried two different tutorials and still can't do it.  One is so simple; maybe that's the problem...lol.

I'm taking a break from animation....again.  I'm also taking a break from work today.  My back was acting up all week.  I laid on an ice pack last night and finally am feeling a ton of relief.  My work, and everybody who works with me, involves lifting some monstrous folders.  I'm thinking OT on Sat is what did me in since this started Sunday.  Of course, I feel guilty, but have plenty of sick leave and vacation time.

LOL...Penny, are you ready to open shop yet?  You make me laugh, which is good.

Joey thinks he blew his interview because he is so quiet and got tongue-tied from being nervous.  He'll find out Monday.  God's will, once again.........

Hope everyone has a good day!  I'm thinking of what to make for dinner tonight and putting the ice pack on my back again.  Last night was good old fashioned meatloaf and scalloped potatoes.  My son will be getting used to those home-cooked meals. 

 

                         

Dog Day Tues. Late Again

Grizzly has such a tough life...lol.  He moves from the couch to the floor, and, of course, needs his various blankets to nest in.  I keep Goodwill in business buying old throws and comforters.

Grizzly actually has some wolf way, way back in his ancestry.  He has a unique howl when he hears or sees other animals.  He also has severe separation anxiety at times when we leave him which the vet says derives from wolves being abandoned by their packs, for what it's worth.  Visit Sassys Second Word to see the links for the pictures those have left or to leave your own link.

                                        

 

                     Cab's Creations

For those who have asked, here is the link to my PSP journal....LOL...be nice....I'm still learning.  One of these days, I swear, I'll tackle animation and glitter. 

Well, I'm off to grocery shop and get my hair cut.....brrrr....a snowy, wintry day in the "burgh."

 

                                                  

                                        

                                     

A Budding Career?

LOL...I'm a little on graphic overload right now so I went into my file manager and pulled up this wintry scene since it's snowing here today. (Definitely not mine; no animation for me yet.)

My budding career...lol...makes me laugh.  I'm finding PSP to be a relaxing hobby.  At the encouragement of the wonderful Donna from "D's Designs," I started a public journal of my graphics about a month ago but didn't publicize it because I really didn't feel that I wanted to subject myself to ridicule.  I thought it would be a good thing to keep a log and watch for improvement, which would come with practice.  Somehow someone must have done a graphics search.  I'm being deluged with e-mails and alerts to actually tag them.

Last night I came home to at least a couple dozen.  Now, this would be easy except the first ones I made I had tagged for others and myself and didn't save the blanks.  Yikes, I had to actually remake some and then try to figure out the fonts I used.

Some promising news.....Joey is absolutely dying at Jiffy Lube.  He has been there 2 1/2 months, still vacuuming and adding oil occasionally and just about reaching the end of the rope with this job.  He received a voice mail message on his cell phone yesterday from a place that he applied for a job way back in the beginning of October.  It's a place that does total restoration to old Chevy's.  It was a job that he really wanted at the time but had been filled.  The guy called yesterday to see if he was still interested so he has an interview tomorrow morning.  Praying that this works out. 

He's at the chiropractor right now.  His back is always out.  I should have gone also because somehow I knocked my back out of whack and totally did it in moving folders around at work yesterday.  It's been about three years since I was adjusted.  I was always hesitant about chiropractors but this one I like.  He will adjust you twice.  If it doesn't hold, he sends people to the orthopods; plus will not even adjust someone he feels needs to see a doctor.

I'm off to take my doggy pic and to scan my pics for one I should have deleted.  LOL...that should be easy.  Take Care All!

    CHRIS

Monday Morning

A quiet Monday morning around the house.  Joey is still sleeping.  I got to sleep in and actually was able to.  I'm usually up no later than 5 am even when I'm off.

Becky was here to visit yesterday; laundry totes in hand.  We went to Sam's Club (my old nemesis) so she could open a membership.  Actually, we split it (I'm hoping this isn't a poor choice I made).  I had a Sam's Club membership for many years in Pgh.  I didn't renew it when we moved here because there was no Sam's even remotely close.  Sort of a good thing because I put myself in some large debt at Sam's.  I was so tempted by all the neat things there.  A Sam's was opened here two years ago.  I didn't even think of joining again because I didn't want to tempt my problem with self-control there.

I was very good yesterday but Lordy was it hard.  I don't need any bulk food but Sam's does have some unique "goodies."  Yeah...I resisted.  I did buy some great steaks and boneless pork chops to throw on the grill for dinner last night.  And....of course.....I did buy myself a Steelers hoodie since I have no Steeler things to wear on Black and Gold Friday, which has become every Friday now.

LOL.....I'm calling a J-Land truce between my two Colorado buddies, Deb and David, since, of course, Pittsburgh is playing the Bronco's this coming week.

If you get a chance, stop over at Sharon's Golf and Other Stuff... journal.  She has an entry where you leave a link to your own favorite journal entry.  There's some good reading even if you don't share one.  Great idea, Sharon!

I love the graphic that one of my PSP group buddies made me.  It reminds me of Megan because she was so into the Disney princesses when she was small.

My graphic below reminds me of Megan...no matter how frustrated I get with her, she does have some adorable attributes.  She ends every conversation with the word "smooches."  Just had to put this graphic up.  Smooches to my three museketeers.            

                                                 CHRIS

 

                       

Scavenger Hunt - Drink

Now I don't want all of you to think I'm a lush but I do like good, stout, dark beer.

The above is a gourmet selection I bought at Christmas.  It's a sampler from Pennsylvania Brewery or Penn Brewery in Pittsburgh.  It's an ancient brewery that was recently revived as a restaurant (great food) and microbrewery.  Now, they are branching out and actually selling the beer.

When Joey and I were in Fla. this past summer, I got Penn Pilsner on tap.  The Oktoberfest and St. Nikolaus Bach are outstanding. 

(Yeah, Steelers!)  Had to add that.  It's sort of a double-edged sword though because Indy's coach, Tony Dungy, played for the Steelers years ago and is such a class act.  His youngest son commit suicide this year right before Christmas.  He looked so bad today.  My prayers go out to the Dungy family.

                                 CHRIS

Sunday Thoughts

My motto above....I'm not going to say much about work except for the fact that we had a quarterly team meeting with the director and management; sort of a regular thing where everyone voices gripes, concerns, etc.  Of course, it can get ugly because some folks do not think before they speak or care to.  And, of course, this was just after a promotion announcement where most of the people who were seeking promotion were in attendance.   All I will say about this is that I praise the Lord that Betty was online the other night and I also give praises to the Lord for the miracle of removing my anger.  Tension was thick.  I read faces and body language extremely well.  We all have to say something; that's a rule.  When questioned, we have to answer.  I prayed for the Lord to speak for me.  And He did put the words in my mouth.  I noticed looks of admiration and respect and heard later that management was impressed.  My final conclusion is I may not have won the job but I came out of this whole affair as the winner of dignity and respect and conducting myself with decorum and intelligence.  To me, I consider that the final prize.

Now to my daily concern.  Grizzly is having seizures again.  The other night I know he fell off my bed when I was online.  I heard a loud thud (he's well over 80 lbs.)  I ran upstairs.  He was a bit disoriented so it wasn't a major seizure.

I was at my BF's last night.  When I got home today, my Christmas tree stand (which I haven't taken to the basement yet) was dragged upside down into the kitchen and Grizzly's water bowl was missing.  I noticed later it got knocked down the basement steps.  These are the signs that I know he is seizing.

I increased his Phenobarb today and will call the vet tomorrow.  I've sort of had a battle with my vet over the dosage.  They started him two years ago on 200 mg a day which I thought was totally excessive.  50 mg a day has held him steady for two years.  We came to an agreement on this finally about a year ago.  What worries me so much is that Grizzly's litter mate, Princess, had to be put to sleep when she was 2 because of uncontrollable seizures.  It was heartbreaking to watch her suffer.  But I've had Grizzly far longer and can't bear to think of what I will feel if he suffers like Princess did. 

He doesn't react normally when he has a seizure.  He tries to get to one of us.  He won't lay still until it passes which is why things get knocked over.  It must have happened after Joey went to bed last night.  My poor Griz must have been trying to get upstairs to Joey.  Boy, this breaks my heart.

I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed that the increase will do its trick.  Boy, don't these pets just creep into our hearts.......

LOL...and, of course, you cannot be born and bred in Pgh and not add this (even though I don't think the Steelers will win)......

Luv ya Black & Gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     CHRIS

Frugality (LOL)

LOL...Jeff, don't use the title as word of the day because I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist; just one I made up.

I'm speaking of being frugal, which Megan definitely is not.  Young ones these days seem to have the above attitude.  Not that I love the Bratz line of stuff but it seemed to fit the mood.

Back up to Christmas.  Megan informed me she wanted an I-Pod.  Ok...I didn't and don't have around $300 to blow on one.  Becky found an MP3 for $30 some dollars.  Hmmmm.....no way did Megan want that.  She said to just give her the money I was going to spend.  She would use her Christmas money for an I-Pod.  Not I-Pods are cool.  MP3 players are yesterday's news.  Being a cool kid, you don't even consider an MP3.

Not only that, you have to have a cool case to carry this thing in.  Neiman Marcus had a Prada for $800....yeah right....but the real bargain was the Coach which sells for about $189.  I don't think so.  Something has to stop somewhere, and I have to draw the line, especially since I just put $500 in her checking account for books (wouldn't that $250 bargain rate she got the I-Pod for have gone half way toward these books.)  Most kids don't think that way.

Joey and I were talking about this on the way home from the doctor's on Wed.  I have absolutely no idea what the difference is between the two.  Well, he told me.  You can only download 1,500 songs on an MP3.  LOL...ONLY 1,500.  Who in the world could even find 1,500 songs they wanted to download?  Jeff..lol..probably you.  An I-Pod hold 7,500 songs.....now this totally blows my mind.  What she really would have liked but didn't have enough money for was a Sidekick.  Now, a Sidekick is that darned I-Pod with the capability of accessing AIM on the internet.  Becky has one.  Megan was absolutely coveting it at Christmas.

Not enough room in my journal tonight or even the time to begin to relate the car discussion continuously between Christmas and New Year's.  She had two options....one of the two that are sitting in my driveway; neither of which she wants.  End of discussion in my book but it's going to be a continuing one in hers; I'm sure of that.

The never ending battle continues between this Mama and Baby.  Under this hair dye I'm sure is a head of totally gray hair by now..........CHRIS

                           

Scatterbrain

LOL...it appears that things are returning to normal in my household, thankfully.

My mother always said I would lose my head if it wasn't attached.  Boy does she know me well.  I try to be organized but it just doesn't happen.

I now make sure when I get home that I put my car keys in a zippered area of my purse.  I have spent countless hours searching for keys because I tend to come in with an armload of groceries, etc. and just set the keys any old place.  I make sure now that I check before I go to bed to make sure that my keys are in my purse so that I don't run around like a chicken with my head cut off in the morning.

I did this last night.  The keys were right where they were supposed to be.  I also checked when I got up and put my coffee on this morning.  Again, there they were.  I went out to run the car for a bit and...guess what...my keys weren't there.  I was a crazy person.  Was I imagining twice that I saw them?

Well, I missed my first bus and ended up driving the other car to the bus stop.  When I got to work my computer glasses (yep, I have a special prescription for my work area because even with my bi-focals with no line and variable lenses, I cannot focus on my whole cubicle) were not in my purse.  Boy, did I flip my lid.  I could focus on the computer but when I looked away, nothing was totally in focus.  Drove me absolutely nuts.  I felt like Mrs. Magoo all day.  I had to push my computer way back and looking at paperwork was a disaster plus I thought the glass case may have fallen out on the bus.

Long story short....my glass case was on the family room coffee table...must have taken them out when I emptied my purse for the 10th time looking for the darned keys.  And.....the darned keys were in my purse the whole time.  They had slipped into a little pocket in the zippered section that I didn't even realize was there.  I found them at work.  And my purse is very small so there's only room for my wallet, cell phone and glass case plus a section in the front for my checkbook and the section in the back for my keys.  My BF downsized me for my birthday because I do tend to fill up the purse no matter what size it is.  We both agreed that a smaller one would help me to control my clutter.

LOL....that it does, but I still can't find things in it.  The good thing is though that today was just a normal day in the life of me and that makes me smile.....again.           CHRIS

The Power of Prayer

When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of this we can be sure ... either God will provide something solid to stand on or ..... we will be taught to fly.  (Sent to me today from Sharon, Golfaholic in an e-mail.)

A testament to the power of prayer........

I had entered an abyss of bitterness and anger that I had never encountered.  Not even my life and divorce from an abusive alcoholic pushed me to the brink of such out of control emotions which were literally tearing me apart.

Last night I reached the absolute bottom.  I could not continue to abuse my heart and soul with the anger.  I posted a prayer in my entry and almost immediately Betty continued it.  And just like that the anger and bitterness left me instantly.  I cannot even begin to explain the peace that I felt envelop me.  Yes, I'm still a bit fragile but fragile I can deal with.  I know in my heart that all of your prayers were heard.  I had to let go and open my heart to accept the peace.

Work went smoothly today.  I was able to focus and return to my former work ethic.

And to any of my three children who are choosing to read this journal....NO, you are not burdens to me.  I was burdening myself this weekend and you were suffering from it.  You three are the most precious gifts God ever chose to give me.  He will always provide the means for me to take care of us all.

Praises to the Lord and for all your prayers!

 

                     CHRIS

Today

Today was a good day in that Joey has bounced back very well.  We were able to discuss just what was bothering him yesterday.  His spirits are 100% improved today and tomorrow is his doctor's appointment so all else is manageable.

At least I'm working on manageable.  Work was super hard for me today.  This last loss of promotion has stung me far harder than the others.  I'm not sure why but I'm having a terrible time ridding myself of anger and bitterness.  I've never been bitter; usually disappointed and then it's gone.  I pray for this to leave.  It is only hurting me not to let it go.

It's so hard to realize that there are those who don't acknowledge or appreciate the fact that I have taken on far more than I had to willingly.  I almost hit a shutdown stage today which is not in my character one bit.  Many came to almost lend condolensces to me which made the tears flow again.  I'm going in a half day tomorrow.  Joey is picking me up for the doctor's appointment.  I'm swamped and had a special project to do today.

Lord, please help me through this.  Help me cleanse my soul of the anger and bitterness that just won't seem to leave.  Let me come to the realization that this is all part of Your plan.  You will always provide for me and my children; You always have. Thank you for holding Joey in your hands and bringing him peace.  In Jesus Name...Amen.

So, I'm late with my journals tonight.  I've been throwing myself into PSP because I find it relaxing (when I'm not pulling my hair out of frustration from it but that's getting less and less....that is, until I tackle animation and glitter.)

Take Care all...hopefully, within a day or two, I will be able to go to work and not be screaming inside my head........CHRIS

PSP

Lucky you...I've spent a good bit of the day playing with PSP.  Still can't do glitter or animations.  I'm getting ready to tackle that.  (Jeff, you can drive to Ohio to take Penny out to the Olive Garden while my journal downloads...LOL)

        

Things have improved immensely around here today.  I thank you all for your prayers, uplifting comments and support.  Good night all....I also keep each and everyone of you in my prayers........

                                  

                  

 

Scavenger Hunt #56? Late Again

This is our diningroom table, which is actually an extension of the kitchen.  It's a 1920's Sears's catalog diningroom set which my dad bought for my ex and me when we were first married and refinished it.   It is precious to me.  My BF and I are going to re-upholster (sp) the chairs this summer.  They were done 20 some years ago.

I also want to do hardwood floors but my budget isn't cooperating right now.  I restored the livingroom but there isn't hardwood beneath this....so a goal someday.

LOL...on the floor in the back is courtesy of Mocha, the cat.  My battery was dying in my camera and, of course, she coughed up a hairball right before I snapped.

LOL....your lucky day.  I had enough juice in the battery to get a pic of my china closet.  Just love all the little bric-a-brac they used to use.  They guy who owned the house before me loved wood but at least it's real solid oak or cherry wood on the walls and only on the one wall.

 

 

                             

Another Dog Day

Boy, do I think I need just a little bit of an emotional vacation here.  2006 is off and roaring.

I'm not at work today and not because I couldn't face the loss of the promotion.  Joey is sinking so fast.  He had me up so late and then I was so worried I couldn't sleep.

It tears me to pieces to watch my children suffer; far more than the job promotion.  And I get so furious when people tell me I'm babying him because he's 22 now and a man.  I'm being told to apply tough love.....yeah, that works.  I think tough love almost sent him over the edge last night; mainly because of my frustration and inability to zip my lips.

Yes, I am babying him.  I know the life of depression because I lived it at his age also.  His problems are far deeper than mine were because I had two loving, encouraging parents.  He had a father that tore his self-esteem to shreds and now I'm left fighting to put it all back together.

Last night I had to ask him the hardest question that can ever leave a parent's mouth....Are you planning to harm yourself?  I had to do it.  He had made some comments which led me to believe he might.  If you ask a depressed person, they will answer.  I know that much.  And, no, he said he wasn't going to do anything but felt totally down and out.  I couldn't sleep at all.

Job/Joey.....no doubt in my mind to that question.  I would be totally worried all day.  Wednesday is his doctor's appointment.  How well I chose this psychiatrist years ago.  I interviewed with many.  Joey tucks everything away inside and most times I find out what the major issues are after he talks to the doctor and then I go in with them.

Please continue to pray for my son and also me.  I know he feels he's a burden and, in a way, yes, it's very hard to support an ill grown child, financially and emotionally.  But no more tough love from this mama.  He will grow and mature and become a strong person but not with threats.  He's lived with enough of those.  My son needs the unconditional love I have always given him.

One positive note in all of this.  I actually got through to PHEAA and talked to a "live" person.  His deferrment papers for his school loans are in the mail as we speak....1001 days (I love that number).

The saving grace in all of this is that I know God is holding us both in His hands.  Joey is the most religious of my children but many times get so angry at God.  We are working on this.  One thing I do know is that God understands what is going through Joey's mind and is helping him even though Joey can't see it or realize it right now.

Thank you all for your continuing support and prayers.  This journal has been a gift from God for me because I can unleash my innermost worries and joys.  I want to thank all of you for your comments and support.  Some bring tears; tear of joy......

                                         CHRIS

Quiet Sunday

It's been a pretty quiet day around here.  Joey took Megan back to school in Pgh for me a while ago so it's very peaceful.

We had a major power surge this morning.  We seem to have a problem with the electricity on just one side of the house.  From what I gather, we have two branches that enter the house.  The one seems to surge for no particular reason at all.  Of course, the computer is on that line.  The power company was out last year and replaced the box.  It helped for a while but I have to call again.  Anyway, I have a back-up drive that Becky bought and installed but she failed to back anything up.  This morning she spent a good bit of the morning trying to guide me through this via IM (once I got the DSL up and running again as that went with the power also).  God bless the patience of that child.  She has truly matured.  She was a screaming, door-slamming typical 10-20 year old; worse than Megan.  What a difference a few years makes.

Well, I actually accomplished it...patting myself on the back....after she laughed at my confused old lady stuff.

I finally got the tree down, what was left of it...basically empty branches and Joey dragged it out to the woods in the back.

I had the roast in the crockpot ready at 2:00 so the kids could get to their respective places to watch the Steeler game.  That crockpot is a Godsend and the recipe from Shelly was out of this world.  I had to substitute Progresso Mushroom soup since it's gluten free, used a couple of Herb Ox cubes (also gluten free), and added some Red Robin seasoning....this one's a real keeper.  Megan loved the Progresso because the mushrooms were huge and she loves them.

I still have to do some laundry and, of course, play with my new addiction....PSP....and get myself mentally prepared for what may be a somewhat uncomfortable day at work tomorrow but the Lord is strengthening me each day.......I'm beginning to realize that the large increase in my income was my major consideration with this job and truly money is not everything...it helps but it shouldn't be the forethought of consideration......

 

                                               

                                                    

                                                

Murphy's Law

I didn't make this graphic but thought it was tooooo cute and also it brought Penny to mind with purses and accessories.

Now to Murphy's Law.....when your house is a total disgrace, someone will definitely come knocking at the door and, yep, that's exactly what happened today.

My BF took me out last night.  I got home around 10.  The Sprint guy was supposed to show up between 3-5 p.m.  No problem....5 hrs of cleaning; my house would definitely be more than presentable.  OK...here comes Murphy's Law....I had to take Grizzly out to go potty and who pulls up at the front.  You got it.  The Sprint guy at 10:15 a.m.  I was totally mortified.  Of course, I had to let him in but sheesh, he must have thought we were a bunch of pigs, or at least total slobs.  The only thing there wasn't was any dishes in the sink but that's the extent of the cleanliness.  I'm in the midst of taking the tree down so there were boxes everywhere and my son's clothes strewn hither thither from one end of the family room to the other.  I had to forge a trail for the poor guy to walk through.

My DSL is fine and, of course, working well.  Hope it stays that way because I don't want to see the Sprint man for a long time.

Megan and I then decided to take a trip to Target.....well, Megan wanted me to go with her.  LOL...now that's a very good way for any female to assauge disappointment.  I hesitated because I didn't want to spend the money which I knew I would be tempted to but went anyway.  We ended up in accessories.  I bought myself leather gloves and a new scarf to go with my new coat.  Megan got two sets of hats, scarves and gloves (cute as could be with little ball things hanging off them) plus the cutest jewelry box.  We then decided to get the heck out of there because we both are on budgets.

Tomorrow she goes back to school.  What a month it has been.  I know I will miss her when she's gone but it will be somewhat peaceful once again.

Shelly, I'm doing your roast  in the crockpot recipe tomorrow....can't wait.  Megan and I also went and got all the stuff we need for that.

Also, please continue to keep Kara A Day With Kara in your prayers.  Her husband is updating her journal. 

Good night to all..........CHRIS

Disappointment

Disappointments are some of the bitterest pills to swallow....the bigger the disappointment; the harder it is to get a grip on.

This week has been frustrating but frustrations are short-lived and most times easily solved.  Disappointment, on the other hand, will eat you and consume you unless you call upon the Lord to help you accept and release.

I haven't said anything about this because I've learned that many times things do not turn out the way we would like them to.  There was a huge upward mobility promotion at my job.  The last one was in '97 and I was working part time and couldn't apply.  Of course, this time I did. And, for some reason not chosen, although I have the most experience doing the job than the two chosen.  In fact, I have been training the one girl chosen to do the job she was promoted to before this (I didn't get that one either) because she just doesn't know how to navigate the applications. 

OK...nuff said....who knows why some are chosen and some arent.  This would have been a huge financial gain for me and taken me out of the robbing Peter to pay Paul life I lead now.  But....and this is the honest truth...if God had intended for me to have that job, I'd be celebrating right now.  No one can begin to alter the strength of the Lord.

Of course, I'm licking my wounds, tears have fallen, and it's so very, very difficult to watch two others being hugged and celebrating about something I dearly wanted.

Money is not everything.  The new job is totally loaded with stress and very strictly monitorred production levels. My job right now is a job I can handle on my own.  My helper had to take a disability retirement.  I accept many new challenges that are above my grade level because it makes the day go faster but I have a pace established and work on my own. Plus, my supervisor is very liberal about my using my vacation time when emergencies arise. My conclusion is that the stress at this point in my life of the new job  may have been far too much.  These were thoughts that were going through my mind before the announcements were made yesterday.

My BF, God Bless him, was still ill last night but decided I needed to get out and refocus, which I've done.  He works with me and said that this is management's stupidity (maybe); not mine.  I was just feeling like such a loser.  So, now that all is said and done, I hugged and congratulated the two that got promoted and held my head high.  Two guys totally flipped and left for the day.  Life moves on.  I still have a job that provides, much love in my life, and dear friends in J-Land who provide so much support and encouragement.  HUGS and LOVE to all of you!!!!!!!!   CHRIS

2006

2006....it seems like the year has started out with some major frustrations, at best, for many.  I continue to pray for Kara's health and hope we hear something soon and also for Mari and her son and family.  Penny had problems at Christmas also.  And the miners in W. Va.....what a fiasco and tragedy for the families.

Today, I actually took a mental health day off of work and it's only day 5 of the new year.  I'm thinking I should have gone to work because Megan was home sick with a migraine and in rare form.  I have to wonder why small things frazzle me.  Not that major things don't but I seem to handle them far better in a way.

I have my DSL up but it fades in and out occasionally.  I have to run around the house and remove filters and change filters so I'm sure it must be something with the inside phone line or it could be due to the fact that Fed Ex delivered the package and left it on my front porch in the pouring rain.  My front porch has no roof.  I was at work so it sat there all day.  I have to call Sprint tomorrow because I have to pay for this visit.  I can pay 4.99 a month for line protection and that would cover everything.  I'm thinking with my luck I should probably do this.  It's $50 up front and $25 for every 15 min. they are in my house.  Boy, what a rip.  I have no other choice because Sprint is our only local carrier.

I had to go online this morning with my dial up and GUESS WHAT....I actually got a live tech that knew what he was doing.  AOL was not recognizing the fact that I had a broadband connection.  This tech actually led me through some complicated adjustments that actually worked.  Surprise, Surprise!

But DSL is really great and fast, when it's running.  I'm sure once I get the kinks worked out, I'll be poorer but happier.

So, I was reading Penny's journal Penny`s Place and she had a wonderful graphic about dwelling on negativity which I'm going to work very hard at enforcing in my own mind.  Thanks, Penny...this is just what I needed.

Thanks for visiting...LOL...I know I have been quite unpleasant these last couple of days but I'm looking for the peace and tranquility which I know is just around the bend.

 

                                   CHRIS

Tagged Again

These are the rules of the game: You must write a journal entry listing the 5 things that drive you CRAZY  ~ as well as the rules of the game... Then, you select five people to tag and link their names/blogs in your entry... Go to their journals and leave a comment informing them they have been tagged by you and to read your journal to see in what way they have been nailed...! Those five then MUST write an entry listing What drives them crazy and tag an additional five people... (Sharon This Momma's Drama and Missy My Own Madness  nailed me.)

This should be pretty easy because so many stupid little things drive me up the wall.......

1.  Technological things......such as this new DSL.  AOL dial-up drove me nuts but everything under the sun is going wrong with my DSL installation, including having to contact AOL and reconfigure the whole darned computer plus I couldn't use it unless I was on the phone.....oy vay again.

2.  People talking on their cell phones on the bus at 6:00 in the morning when I'm trying to sleep.

3.  People in the express lanes at Walmart and grocery stores with two tons of crap in their carts.

4.  My son thinks the familyroom is one large hamper for his clothes.

5.  My vehicles because there always seems to be something that has to be fixed.

I told Missy and Sharon this would be far too easy.  I OCD over all the minor stuff...BIG TIME...LOL

So...who are the lucky ones to be tagged? LOL...you still love me, I hope.

Shelly XXRoxyMamaXX

Penny  Pennietoonz

Deb  Frosty Thoughts

Jeff An addition to your Boring Day (I know Missy got ya)

and.....

Sharon  Golfaholic

I think I'm turning into Maxine for 2006...........CHRIS

                           

 

Dog Day Tues (A Day Late...LOL)

This is Grizzly, a 10 year old, mixed lab husky, who is definitely the King of this Castle and knows it.

He is on the couch with his favorite "blankie."  He won't go on the couch unless his blankie is up there.  If it isn't, he will drag it up there.  Once he gets on the couch, he "nests" in it meaning he pushes and pulls it until he gets it the way he wants it.

I've had to put vertical blinds in my window because he has to be able to look out the window, jumping on the back sofa pillow.  He's ruined all other window treatments I've tried out of frustration at not being able to see out of the window.

Griz's eyes are showing up as white nowadays in pics because of cataracts that so far don't cause any vision problems.

So, this is Grizzly Bear...aka...my shadow or velcro, as the vet calls him.  He follows me all over the house all the time even though he's technically Joey's dog.

(I'd best save this as I just lost a journal entry for the first time.  I got a pop up from AOL that says my registry or something is damaged so I have to reinstall AOL again....UGH...)

                                     

I've sort of hesitated posting an entry because I've been so darned frustrated and a little down in the dumps and it's only the start of a New Year.  I hate to shout the woes of a single mother but sheesh it's so hard providing emotional support to my kids alone.

My son needs lots of prayers.  Joey is dying emotionally at the Jiffy Lube job.  He has no direction or clue as to what he wants to do.  He has suffered severely from depression in the past.  My fear is he is falling slowly into the crevice again.  It breaks my heart.

I'm also totally frustrated with PA OVR (voc rehab).  The counselor talked him into taking courses at the Community College to get his feet wet the year before last.  The first semester was totally paid for, as it was just experimental courses.  He got a new counselor who assured us the next semesters would also be paid for or reimbursed.  Not so....he just got a bill for $50.00 since he's been out of school for six months.  He accrued $1,800 in loans and now has to pay them back at $50.00 a month.  I can't get through to PHEAA (pa higher education) to ask for a deferrment or something.  Really, I am ready to just sit down and cry.  He owes me $150.00 a month for his car insurance and now this.

Well, crying is getting me absolutely no where so I'm asking that you all include Joey in your prayers because the power of prayer is so strong.

He see his psychiatrist next week for his six month check-up.  Thank the Lord for that.  The doctor has a way of calming him and helping him see things in a brighter light.

And...I got the final determination from my health insurance that he will be covered for at least the next two years as a temporarily disabled adult.  His doctor submitted reams of paperwork which had to be reviewed so his meds will be covered.  A huge relief as they would have cost me $1,600 a quarter. 

And you know what, now that I've gotten this all off of my chest, I feel some strength returning to my sorry soul.  So, off I go again to try to get through to PHEAA...wish me luck.

                              CHRIS

Excedrin Headache

I'm thinking I'm going to be opening a lemonade stand soon.  So much for my lovely little speech yesterday.  Can we say FRUSTRATION?  I'm certainly a child of the 60's who should still be living in the 60's or maybe 70's.

Becky came to install the DSL, which she did in minutes.  The instructions could have been in Japanese (right Jeff) for all the good it would have done me.  Sprint didn't send me all the connections I needed so off to Radio Shack we went.  Really, it was only a $3.00 purchase but I wouldn't have known I even needed these little jacks.  LOL...I still don't have DSL.  My order won't be coming through until Wed. even though I got the package.

My other car is acting up.  Sounds like the starter grinds when it starts and it's stalling out.  So, off to the shop it goes on Wed.  (The lemons keep getting tossed.)

We took a break and I took all three of my kids out to eat.  Joey rarely goes but did this time.  We went to an authentic Mexican restaurant.  The food is great; more than you can eat; and the price is downright inexpensive.  That was a shining light today.  We laughed and had a good time.

I came home and had Becky show me how to transfer the pictures onto my computer that were on the memory card.  They were all corrupted.  She tried using the camera cable and then the memory card itself.  Finally, the computer crapped out and restarted itself and the pictures all loaded except for one.

So, I decided to sign onto AOL and, of course, there was either no modem connection or dial tone.  There was a dial tone and a modem connection.  After fussing for a while and getting the internet withdrawal symptoms....big time....I followed the telephone cord thingy and noticed that it was plugged into the little phone box thingy and into the DSL box.  I took it out of the DSL box and looked behind my computer to see where it had to be inserted and voila......  Doesn't sound difficult but for me it was climbing a mountain.  Sheesh...all those cords plugged into the back of the computer.  LOL...give me an off and on switch.

I decided to use a melancholy, artsy graphic today even though that's really not me.  I just have a huge headache which should go away once the Advil kicks in.

We did manage to get a picture of Grizzly, our dog, with a lei around his neck.  Too cute but I have no energy to put it in my file manager right now.  Poor thing has cataracts so his eyes show up like shining stars on every pic we take of him and you can't edit it.

Take care everyone and have a great evening!

 

                           CHRIS

HAPPY 2006

                                                                                                    

Another year has arrived.  I always like to think that starting a new year is starting off with a clean slate.  Leave the negativity behind and move on to bigger and better things.  Another year to improve upon my life.  Of course, I could do that daily because of my religious beliefs but a new year seems to be a benchmark to "clean house" so to speak.

I have always strived to turn those old lemons into lemonade and have also strived to teach my children the same.

My DSL kit arrived by Fed-Ex yesterday so this old one is scratching her head again.  Easy installation so one of the children is going to have a job to do.  So, any of you with a DSL connection...HOW does this work billing wise????  Confusion is setting in.  I had to go through Sprint because that was my only local carrier.  From what I understand, Sprint will bill me but I will still have AOL?  Yikes!  Or do I pay AOL and Sprint?  I called AOL to ask but, of course, I got more confused than ever.  I think whoever I talked to was also confused.

We are going to my mom's today as we do every year.  A question for all of you?  What do you traditionally eat on New Year's Day?  In western Pa., it is sauerkraut and pork (for good luck, so they say).  I thought for years that everybody did that until a few years ago when someone who worked with me from another state was very confused by the Pa. tradition.  So, I'm very interested in this since we all hail from different parts of the country.  Let me know.......

Savor the new; let go of the old hurts and bitterness...a new year and fresh start is at your hands.  Make every day an adventure; even if the adventure is a lemon.  Turn it into lemonade.

                      CHRIS