Yesterday was a downer. I think mainly because of my BF's remarks and critical attitude. It kept going through my mind that in one breath he was saying how much we have gone through and endured together and in the next breath said something to the effect that because of our differences he could never live in the same household as me. It was like a dagger to my heart and done on the phone because he was ill at home with a sinus infection.
I said nothing then or in the evening. I said nothing on the bus. In fact, I said nothing until lunch. I've decided to think things through before I blurt things out....sort of a new attitude of decorum I've reached.
He took me to get to a sub shop for some great subs for lunch. I had his spare keys for the car that needed the muffler repair (which is being done correctly at no cost). I gave him the keys. He said something about wondering when I was going to remember to give them back. Of course, he was sick the day before, which was my response. He said something about it being lunch already. BINGO....I just smiled and asked him if he thought I was so disorganized that I would lose his spare keys. ROFL...thought the boy was going to choke to death. He turned beet red and absolutely gagged. Sure did get my point.
Long story short....he spent the rest of the day kissing my keister. I didn't act angry nor was I angry. Must have been guilt kicking in for cruel words which weren't really meant. He bought me a Steeler sweatshirt, a single rose and a little box of Roche chocolates at break time and brought them back...can we say guilt complex?
People often ask if we will ever marry? I don't know. We've both been on our own for over 10 years. I've become quite independent. Financially, it would be a lifesaver but that's not a reason for marriage. He is the love of my life...my soulmate. I want him in my life for the rest of it....just not so sure about in my house...lol....I suggested a duplex when my kids are grown and gone.
I'm off to read journals. I'm working OT again tomorrow because I need the money so I best get my old keister in gear.
Thank you all for your comments. I see that many were very fussy when younger but have come to realize that we all need time to smell the roses. The house will continue to get messy no matter what. Love you all!