Christmas Past~Memories

First, I just want to say I absolutely adore the above graphic.  I'm sure I'm going to have to resize it because it wasn't even downloading properly into my journal.  (LOL...I didn't have to resize it and the download time is going to take a while but question for Shelly.  I just noticed this when I saved it.  The girl who made this is very experienced in PSP.  Do you think she left the checks in there for design's sake or just didn't crop or use her eraser?)

Christmas memories are just that when a family is split.  So many in J-Land live this life.  My Christmas traditions were tied in with my ex-laws from 1975 until around 1999.  I continued going for a few years after we separated because it had become my tradition, and I adore the extended family of my ex.

My children continue the tradition.  Church and then a huge Christmas Eve feast and gathering at my ex mother-in-law's house.  I wouldn't even think of robbing them of this time but this leaves me a bit sad and lonely.  Tonight I will go to my mother's and visit with her and my brother and his wife.  Some of you are aware that I am less than enthusiastic about my brother and can barely tolerate his wife.  Lord, help me to bite my tongue.  I used to cook a huge Christmas dinner, and both sides gathered at our old house.  I loved it.  I continued also to do this until I moved out and bought this house in 1999 and my ex moved back into our old house.  Geez, I miss my dad so much also.  I'm supposing this entry will be somewhat of a downer but I have to remember the reason for the season and let the past go.  My kids are big but dayum I miss them already.

Tomorrow is going to be a fiasco.  My mom just called me and said dinner this year is at 2:30 because Linda's (my brother's wife) has once again changed the time of their gathering.  Why do things always have to revolve around her family and their times?  I'm seeing them tonite so I will go to my mom's when I get there.  I'm spending tomorrow with my BF, his mother, brother, son, son's GF and the 4 year old grandson.  My kids...I'm not even sure how they will work this out.  They go to their step-mom's parents' house for brunch.  I must say the step grandparents have actually embraced my children.  LOL..not the step-mom though.  They are supposed to stop at my ex's sister's at noon.  Aunt Lynn is a gem.  She loves my children to death.  Nothing has changed with my in-laws.  There is so much love in that family.  Where did my ex come from?

Right now I'm sort of in a daze.  I have to call the kids coz they are all back in Pgh already.  This is going to go over like a ton of bricks.  I usually go to church with them on Christmas Eve but this changes each year because my brother keeps changing the time for our Christmas Eve gathering.  The only problem is I won't bend to his rules.  And then my mother keeps saying..."You know your brother; he's all about family."  Hmmmm...someday I'm going to tell her what I think or maybe not.  She's good to me and we've mended far too many problems for me to rock the boat once again.  Besides that, she's a vibrant 86 year old and doesn't deserve the strife it would cause.

Anyway...HUGZ to all and have a blessed Christmas.  I'm working on reviving my spirit.  A trip to Christmas Eve service would do the trick. 

On a lighter note....Megan came down last night to model her Christmas Eve outfit.  I almost choked.  I mean it's not that it's totally improper for maybe a New Year's Eve gathering but a church service...YIKES...maybe I'll just go to a service here tonight.  Let her dad handle this one.  I told her what I thought.  She said she thought I would say that but oh well...Oh well, Merry Christmas, Daddy...she's all yours tonight...rofl.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!