Monday, October 24, 2005

OK

Ok....so today was a moody, meltdown day....hey, sorry, Jeff...LOL..if we all have or had husbands or men in our lives like you, life would be so grand...seriously.....

Actually, my boyfriend is great...only one problem in years and it was a stupid one that was worked out quickly.  It took a long time for me to learn not to compromise on the way others treated me.  I would say my freedom came the day my ex was gone and out of my life.  Slowly I grew from the verbally battered person I was into mostly happy "crazy" lady.

My two oldest kids were another story.  I didn't realize how badly they were affected until after the fact.  That I will regret forever.  They are well on their way to leading happy, productive lives...but their memories also have to be just beneath the surface.  Their father still continues to disappoint them continuously to this day.

People ask me if I had to do it all over again and marry him, would I?  In a heartbeat.....I wouldn't have the exact children I have now if I didn't.  That, I will never regret.  My only regret is that I didn't have the strength or the courage to end the madness sooner....but, on the other hand, I did....I could still be living in that hell.......

I'm thinking that I'm getting so dang old that I've lived and experienced so many things that it would be odd not to find a journal that didn't bring back memories....good and bad.....

1 comment:

bignewmanut said...

Glad yo hear you are happy now, my father told my mother that he was having an affair on my 16th birthday so I know how this stuff can affect kids.