"Relatively" Speaking

So what is it that they say, we can pick our friends but not our relative…yuck yuck….how true.

Siblings?  I have one older brother…6 years older…who I think is probably nuts or just a nitwit or a little of both.  His wife is a biotch…totally.  They deserve each other.  My Thanksgiving dilemma will have to be discussed at a later time.  I need to set the backdrop of my brother. 

The last time I spoke with my brother was on the cell phone mid way through Georgia on my way to Fla. with my son in August.  Not that I wanted to talk to him.  I called my mother to let her know we were on the second leg of our trip.  It was Sunday morning.  My brother is there every Sunday afternoon.  I figured he wouldn’t be there yet….yeah right… a little pleasant conversation with my mother and the question…" Would you like to talk to Uncle G?”  Uh, no, not ever…and there he was…no hello, how’s your trip… As we look back, my son and I roll on the floor laughing at what happened next…bizarre. 

My son cuts my mother’s grass.  He loves his Grandma.  She gives him her Sunoco credit card to fill his car up with gas when he's done.  My mother is not wealthy but comfortable.  Sooo…my brother’s first comment was “I was looking through Mom’s Sunoco statements (why is this any of your business brother dear) and noticed Joey is using 89 octane gas.”  (Yeah, so what?)  "He is wasting Mom’s money. He only needs to use 87 octane."  (He drives a 5 liter, 8 cylinder Mustang, for God’s sake)  I’m like what’s the difference….his car pings on 87.  Didn’t I know pinging will NOT hurt a car?  No, I didn’t.  I thought the opposite.  Mr. Goodwrench has a company car and gets free repairs, like he gives a crap if he even gets the oil changed.  Then the obvious dawned on me….the car has a 15 gallon gas tank…usually Joey only gets about 12 gallons….we are talking about $1.20 a week more for gas.  I told him Joey would continue to use 89 octane and reimburse Grandma the extra dollar or so that he wasted of her money and said see ya (really wouldn’t want to be ya).  He said do whatever you want…like I haven’t always done that anyway…which really for some reason pisses him completely off.  Then he had to get the last word in, always does....he said he hoped that I wasn't using 89 octane in my car because I don't have the money to waste.....whoa, hold on a minute....that really pisses me off....like that extra dollar will make or break me.  He couldn't stand my ex and constantly said I should leave.  I did...now he acts like he needs to be my financial advisor....only his "advice" is just plain idiotic........pass my a couple of bucks Uncle G or zip it..........really, sitting in a car on a 22 hr trip and this was all he had to talk about...LOL

And that is just one installment of brother G…..the Lumina story he “bought” me will follow which is a total classic…..